the past 24 hours have brought me to my knees. just 24 hours. it dawned on me that i've hit rock bottom. there is just simply no way i can go any lower. i still remember the vow i took about a month or so ago, and it seems like it's coming to nought. yet another one of those promises broken. broken like the person i am now. maybe it was complacency today, or maybe it was foolishness in general, but i know deep down neither can explain my downfall. i know i can be better, i know i am. but opinions do not make fact. only the cold hard truth can make fact. and in the cold light of the day, i know i'm not good enough. words turn to whispers when they lose their meaning. judge a man not by what he says, but by what he does. judging from everything that's happened so far, i'm not very much of a man.

let this be a wake up call. it's not often in life one gets a second chance. only those who deserve a second chance, will get it. maybe i'm a little arrogant thinking i could take down the top and go for number one, when i can't even top myself. so let's set things right, and settle the little things first. i have to find a way to erase these memories and get myself back together. i'll have to find a way back into the game. there's not a lot of time left, but time is the least of my worries. i have to make my words count this time. i have to make my actions count. let this be a lesson. a cold, painful lesson. it's better i get stung now then when it really matters. for a second time, i've been made to eat my own words. it's time to start from the bottom, and work my way back. this wake up call hit me hard, like ice on raw nerves and steam to the back on my eyes. the lessons are there to be learnt, let's just hope i learn them. i think it's time i stop talking the walk, and let my walking do the talking.

i've just been put through a baptism of fire, and i've crumbled. only those who deserve a second chance, will get it. if i truly deserve it, i'll have to take it. no questions asked. no room for error. this is not the time to back down. this is the time to fight back. i'm broken. i'm on my knees and i'm begging. i've been humbled and i'm insignificant. all of it won't matter if i can get back. this is no time to be afraid. to conquer your fears is to conquer all. he who dares, wins.