well i dunno how 2 say watever i'm going 2 say, havent gotten my thoughts straight yet but if i lose the moment now i may never get it back... it's been so long since i last saw you in person, really cant remember how you look like anymore... was thinking back on everything last night and somehow i saw you somewhere in my memories... i realised something, one thing that changed my whole perception of everything between us... i realised that you were only human... i know it sounds stupid but that very realisation changed every word written right now... i 4got that you were only human, juz another person with a name in a world of millions... i also 4got how special you are, juz as every other soul with a name out there... i never made you feel special, i never treated you the way you deserved to be treated, i never treasured you... you deserved so much more than what i gave you, and all this time i took you 4 granted... i lost you only 2 myself... i dun blame you 4 "dumping" me or giving up on me or watever, because i realised that i forced you 2 do wat ultimately ended everything... i never realised how much you mean 2 me, how special every moment with you was, how i lost everything somewhere between the lines... i 4got that i was the luckiest man on earth... i 4got how much i really loved you...

i 4got that i too, was also only human... i couldnt give you everything you deserve, everything you need... i wasnt good enuff 4 you, i juz simply didnt give you the security and happiness you deserved... a girl like you should never end up with a guy like me... your juz 2 good 2 be true... and even after everything ended, and we moved our separate ways, i still never realised what you needed... i still blamed you 4 everything that happened, i hated you... i never realised that i brought all this onto myself... i juz pushed all the blame and responsibility onto you, you didnt have 2 take it, which is why you left in the first place... i juz wasnt good enuff 4 you in the first place, and maybe all this wasnt meant 2 happen... maybe it was because of this very mentality that did me in... somehow, deep down, i could not escape that fact that you were 2 good 4 me, and happy endings only appear in fairytales... it was truly a page out of a storybook, everything til the end... maybe we were fighting a losing battle, and yet we believed that we could accomplish anything... a fool 4 no1 but love... sometimes i ask myself how do 2 people stay 2gether 4ever, and i got the answer from a book, an answer no plainer than the eye can see, "you juz have to keep falling in love, falling in love with the same person over and over again." i've learnt my lesson...

you once said, there are 2 kinds of people that you meet in your life, those that teach you a lesson and those that make a difference... what you didnt say was the third kind of person, those who come into your life and do both... you taught me lessons in life i will learn nowhere else, and you sure as hell made a difference in my life... and these people you should never let go... i know everything i've said has been drama, overreacting and blowing everything out of proportion... but i have so much more feelings inside that i will never find a way to express... 4 every bit it's worth, all my heart is true... i'm not here 2 gain your sympathy or empathy because i never will... i never expect you 2 come back here after everything that has happened... i have no intentions 4 anything 2 happen between us again... i know you feel the same way... it was never meant to be, it was like a defect in nature's plans, and it will not survive... it juz couldnt... i juz needed to trash everything out right here, right now... all my emotions i put in2 1 post, sealing it 4ever and never turning back... this very blog was started because i needed a place 2 stuff my emotions in, because i was mesmerised by you, and i would go crazy if i didnt have a place to empty my deepest heart's desires... i now no longer have you, and i no longer have any reason to keep this place, but the painful memories that still haunt me every night... this post would serve its one final purpose and that is 2 convey a message...

i truly apologise 4 everything that has happened between us... i wish it would never have turned out this way, if i could turn back time i would never let it... here i wish you happiness you couldnt find in me, love you could no longer see in me and the best, that could never be me... this is one final closure of everything that has changed my life over the past 11 months, for 2morrow my life will change 4ever, once again... with the painful cliches, drama serial and absolute rubbish, i most sincerely apologise to everyone with a soul out there, 4 i do no justice 2 them with the destruction of my every own... somehow i wish you'd see all this and know that you still mean the world to me, yet somehow i wish you didnt, because it is time to stop all this... you showed me my weaknesses and flaws, at the same time you showed me all that i can be... for that, i thank you... and with the final words, i sign off 1 last time, not looking back while hoping that you will show no mercy and throw no second glances, for life is not about second chances...

always and forever, truly yours and no other... goodbye my first true love... may you be blessed with your heart's desires... fate will bring us together again, in another lifetime... if you didnt read any bullshit above, read this one line that will ring true forever... "I love you"... goodbye little lion...