it has been a long week to say the least... with class camp and PI and other stuff along the way... and i can safely say, i've seen a little more of the big big world out there... everyone has limits, and i believe alot of them were pushed throughout the course of this week... its one thing to push urself to get that bit further, but sometimes the only way forward is a step back... so anyway, the week kicked off with a bang, with none other than class camp... i must say that i didnt regret one minute of it (even though i got this big nasty wound to show for it)... it was really fun spending time with the class, outside of class... everyone is just so busy with all their own kind of stuff that we hardly spend any time together as a class, so this was definitely a good opportunity, but sadly not everyone was there... class camp was supposed to help us work out the kinks and hopefully allow us to bond closer as a class... in a sense class camp served its purpose, but it a completely different way... i managed to spend alot more time with the people i'm close to to begin with, but i didnt really feel as if i got to know the class better... and when i did eventually get to know the class better, i didnt really like what i was finding out...
its just so scary to imagine that someone you think you know is actually someone different... and the worst part of it all is that they play the game right to your face, so you will never find out... and it makes me wonder, who are people that i can really trust? i'm finding it harder to recall with every passing day... i just dun understand why someone has to step all over other people not only to get what they want, but to do it for fun... maybe i'm really too naive and innocent and simple to understand the complex matters of the real world, but its really something i cant stand for, and its something i hope i'll never to do... there's no way i can defend myself from being a hypocrite so i'll take the blame right here and now... but it really scares me, to know that all of these things are going on right behind your back without you being any wiser... i just dunno who to trust anymore... and if there's one thing i learned from all of this: never, ever, judge a book by its cover... and dun always believe what you read too...
sometimes in pursuit of all the material wealth and success, we kinda lose the plot along the way and we lose ourselves... and i think i'm slowly losing grip on the person i once knew myself to be... we sometimes lose sight and meaning of what we actually set out to do... but izzit really all that worth it? sometimes its really hard trying to be a better person with all the distractions in our world 2day, and once again i'm going to be caught out... with all the temptations around us, its really hard to live without them... but being a better person, is about rising above it all... its not about sitting around and waiting or hoping for it to happen, its about making it happen... anyway, 2day i stepped into the (or next to) biggest house in my entire living memory... it didnt look really big from the outside, but having learnt earlier lessons, a house is not to be judged by its exterior alone... i think my own house can fit into the backyard... but big houses can make a person feel quite lonely sometimes... and when i look at my own house, i'm thankful that i have a nice (enough) place to stay, that's pretty cozy i guess (an excuse for being really small)... sometimes i wonder if i really want a big big house next time... i dun think i would, unless i can find the right person to share it with... then i wont have to worry about the empty spaces and lonely faces (i think i'm gettin carried away)... anyway, that whole district reminds me of hollywood boulevard, singapore style...
money makes the big big world go round... can love triumph? really miss having someone to talk to, just someone i can sit down with and talk for hours about anything and everything... and sometimes we can just not say a word, and there would be no awkward silence or uncomfortable vibes... maybe the problem lies with me... you gotta talk before someone can listen and reply... i guess sometimes i have so many things couped up inside me i dunno how to get it out (hence the extremely long post)... those sit-down-and-talk-for-hours sessions can really do wonders... i really want to believe that love can triumph over money and all that superficial material stuff,
so help me believe... anyway i think i've run out of things to say, or maybe i should save some for another time... round 2 of season coming up, and the real battle begins... til the next time i cant stop talking, peace...
"And all the roads we have to walk are winding,
and all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I would like to say to you,
but I don't know how.
Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me.
And after all, you're my
wonderwall."
