2009 is just slightly more than an hour away, and 2008 is coming to an end. what can i say? it's been a blockbuster year with many mistakes, many great times and many memories. right now, i think i'm ready to leave 2008 behind and step into 2009 with a peace of mind. it's going to be a big year ahead, and paths have to be chosen. 2009 is going to be a year for change. it's going to be a time where i would do something i normally wouldn't. something better, something good. it's time to kick all my bad habits. learn from the past and make good with the future that is to come. it's time to make new mistakes, learn new lessons and collect new memories. it's time to kick the addiction, and stay free from all the "drugs". it's time to step up to the plate, because you only get one swing at it. the race is about to begin and everyone's at the start line. this time i hope i won't be playing catch up.

it's going to be a tough year, no doubt about it. but maybe somewhere along the way, there might be time to stop and enjoy the scenery, smell the roses, before we have to be on our way again. maybe the tough road can be made easier if we just keep things simple. mug hard, and play harder. leave nothing in your hands and everything on the table. it's time to go for it, because it's the last time we'll ever get the chance. it just feels like the beginning of the end in so many ways. 6 years, and then 6 more. it all comes down to this. this is the big graduation. it feels like the end in so many ways but it's only the beginning. the whole of 2009 is ahead of us. it's all up to us to shape and change the course of our destiny. we have the power to take control. we have to make choices, hoping they're the best ones, and live with them.

2008 has been a great year. made wonderful new friends, stayed close with great old ones and learnt one big lesson on friendship. but it's time to move on. leaving the past to memories and the future to hope. i'm looking forward to the challenge of 2009, because it gives me the chance to rise to the occasion. it's time to step out of our comfort zones and into the world of the unknown. it's time to cast our fears aside and follow the path of the blinding lights. all we have to do is put one foot infront of the other. it's time to do something. it's time to make things happen. it's time to move forward.

it's time to bid 2008 adieu.

it's time. 2009.

we were never meant to be together. our stars crossed in the heavens, but they never aligned; never meant to be as one. for a brief moment, i forgot that we were made merely as friends. i'm thankful that you came into my life, and changed it. you gave me hope when all else was fading, when i couldn't find strength in my new skin. you made me believe again. you were a message sent from above. you were an angel from heaven.

relationships mean alot to me, friendships especially. i'm not someone who needs alot of friends, but i'm a person who needs close friends. i would die for a friendship that would never die for me. the truth is, i need you more than you seem to need me. and even though now, my presence is less required, i'll still be there. just in case. maybe you were always going to be there, just in a different way. and maybe it's time i set my heart free. i knew it all along, that we were made for different things, but i lost control for a fleeting moment. that fleeting moment is gone.

as the night fades, and as dawn is approaching, the sun will rise and the day will begin. as the light slowly crawls towards the dusk, night will fall and cover the world in darkness. the night will bring peace and rest to weary souls and tired bodies, but it will also bring sleepless nights for the restless minds. and in the night, one seems to understand the world one is placed in, better. the epiphany and revelations overwhelm a single mind. but the night still comes and goes, and just before the breaking of the sun, one mind is at peace with the world.

a close friend of mine once said, "Having would be great, but I'm doing just fine without." i couldn't agree more.

She's The Girl
by Jonathan Lim

She's the girl from all of your wildest dreams,
she's the girl everyone wants on their team.
She's the girl with the flawless face and perfect hair,
and you're the guy who can't help but stare.

She's the rebel who lives on rock 'n roll,
when they made her they broke the mold.
She's on the cover of every magazine,
she's a contemporary classic beauty queen.

She's got the looks, the style and the brains to boot,
she's like a loaded gun, just pull the trigger to shoot.
She's the girl other girls would die to kill,
the next girl would have really big shoes to fill.

She's the girl who could melt the sun,
she's the girl who is second to none.
She's the girl with all the parts,
but she's the girl, with the broken heart.

i'm using every ounce of strength within me to fight the feeling, to hide the pain on the inside so that no one will ever know. i made a mistake by getting my heart involved, but i'm going to set things right. i'm not going to allow myself to willingly have my heart broken again, even if that means i have to live the rest of my life with the could-have-beens and the what-ifs.

you mean so much to me right now that i would do anything just not to lose you, because nothing else is worth it. because i'm not going to ruin everything i hold closest to my heart by making stupid mistakes. mistakes that i should never have to make again because of all the lessons i've had, but the same mistakes are going to be made because some people just never learn. i want to make the right decisions this time.

i'm going to look at you and pretend it doesn't kill me everytime. i'm going to fall asleep each night without thinking about you, because that's the only thing i do the rest of the day. i'm going to tell you that you're going to find a better man and lie, because all i see is myself with you, and i'm not any better.

nothing's going to change. i'm going to be there when you need me, and i'm still going to be there when you don't. living with the pain is the closest i'll ever get to living with you. it's the closest i'll ever get to living.

been playing the guitar til my fingers are sore. they're numb to the touch but i still feel this tingling sensation in my finger tips. i get it every time i start thinking. i was just wondering if friends could ever be more than just friends. sometimes you just can't help but wonder. there has to be a point in a friendship between two people (opposite sex) where the status becomes blurred. when you start thinking this could be it. this could be the one person you've been waiting for your whole life. but then again you're in a position where you would be risking everything you have between the two of you: your friendship, your trust, your understanding etc. but you can't deny you've thought about it, at least one of you.

that's where the pain starts to kick in. you don't know if you should take the next step. you don't know if what you have is just a really good friendship, or something more. it just complicates matters because one of your best friends is from the opposite gender. could you ever just be really good friends with the opposite gender? nothing more? it's ok if you're both single, but what if your friend is attached? that's just a ball of yarn. and even if you don't make a move, simply the thought screw things up. because it translates to your actions, and the vibes you give out, your body language. friends can pick up things like these. like when silence becomes uncomfortable, or when you're going out of your way just to please a person when you normally wouldn't. you'll just probably end up screwing things up anyway.

you can't kill a romantic. you can't kill his fire, his passion and his imagination. ironically, it's his very fire, passion and imagination that got him killed. i'm just thinking outloud, and blabbering way too much. i might put some of the pictures from aussie, or not. i'm just too lazy. exactly 3 weeks before i fly off to taiwan, which doesn't leave me with very much time for alot of things. i just have to maximise what ever time i have left, before another year races past.

maybe, just maybe, you've thought about the same things as i have. then i just want you to know that between us, there's always a maybe.

when a heart breaks, it don't break even.

tonight, you won't read the words that spell my misery. i'm going to fight the feeling because you don't know how much i'm not willing to lose you. tonight i will keep the pain inside so that you will never know how much it hurts to let you go. i will not let my feelings show because then, i would be risking everything that means so much to me. everything is you.

tonight, i will take in the last rays of light and bask in the midnight sun. someday you will never know these words were written about you, but all for the sake of what we have now, and what we never will. i wage a war against my darkest fears, trying to fight the inevitable. every time i lose myself and begin to doubt, these inner demons win. this battle i must fight alone. for you, i set my heart on fire. and for you, i must put my heart out.

tonight, i have you in my memories. and that's all i need, to get me through the night.