ok heres the 2nd part of my post, talked about combined skuls n my dad, ok so yeah... heres where it gets a tad bit emotional... well, been thinking lately, where have the good old days gone? i mean back then when hw n stress were non-existent, n having fun was the only term in the dictionary... i mean nowadays, its like i'm so busy(ok lah, dun say me only lah, EVERYONE) that i dun even have time 4 things 2 myself... yes, there are things i have 2 do, there are things that i choose 2 do(be it willingly or not), but wat happened 2 the things where by, u dun even have 2 think about it, juz do that kind... i mean in the past, its like everyday, i'd go down 2 the park(back at my old place), juz play soccer 4 2 hours like that, or juz go down n play bball with my friends around my place... everyday for 2-3 years? ok weekdays abit tough, but weekends n hols dun even have 2 say... its like those times, i wouldnt even think, it comes by like eating n drinking, n 2 the point maybe even breathing... juz go down play soccer from bout 4 to 7, til i'm dripping wet with sweat, come home makan n juz rest? its like i will wait the whole friggin day juz 4 that 2-3 hrs, no matter how bad the day is or how sian i am, i juz wait 2 go outside n play... n whenever it rains, it juz sucks(quite the contrary now eh?)... its like now, i'm so different in terms of this lah... i mean like, 1stly theres so much work, dun even talk about going outside 2 play, going downstairs 2 buy like bread, time oso tight, 2ndly, since i moved, not really a place i can play soccer or bball, more importantly no1 2 play with, 3rdly, bball trainings, really dun wanna say it but here it is, it takes up a pretty large part of my time oso, but its a commitment, so i'm not complaining... yeah, i mean i'm juz thinking of the "good old days"... its like when times were much simpler, juz go out play, come back tired, eat, slack around then sleep... i nvr sleep in the afternoon back then, nvr... although i sleep alot earlier then oso, but now i sleep whenever i can n stay up pretty late?(influence of technology oso, namely the com lah) juz thinking, the simpler times, 1 day, morning wake up, have breakfast at home, read newspaper, slack around watch tv or wat, til about lunch when we go out 2 eat, shop around(FOR THINGS I WANNA BUY!!!), maybe catch a movie or something, come back around 4? with the stuff i bought(hopefully), then go out play soccer with friends, come back 4 dinner, after dinner juz mess around with the stuff i bought(maybe some com stuff?), then sleep early wake up early the next day... wah i think if can 1 day like this without any worries of hw or wat have u, that would be enuff 4 me already... ya lor, so juz thinking(sorrie bear with me, i'm seriously talking alot)... i seriously wonder, would i rather have a simpler life or have the life i'm living now? i mean like i see other people damn carefree like that, everyday slack around waiting 4 coconut 2 drop on their heads like that, or now? well i dunno lah, juz thinking(as usual)...

ok so got that outta the way... imma still thinking(my emotional self again, sorrie folks, still tuned in2 days of MY life, get the pun? nvm)... well i've been thinking about wat u said(dun worry i'm not negative or wat, n u said nothing wrong, juz thinking), n i juz wonder if, u really wouldnt wanna spend so much time with me... i mean ok, lets face it, u have ur life 2, u have ur friends, n i cant stop u... but u juz said that u wouldnt wanna spend so much time with me(be it casually or if u really mean it or wat, note: SO MUCH, not saying u dun wanna spend time with me at all) yes lah, u have ur own friends n all, n would u sometimes rather spend time with them than with me? i'm not trying 2 control ur life or wat, n i'm definitely not being negative... dun get it the wrong way, thats the last thing that should happen... juz sharing my opinions? we can talk about it ya? ok, enuff about that... so i've been listening 2 *NSYNC all over again? no strings attached, tearin up my heart and girlfriend, these 3 in particular... wow man, damn i want 2 hear them again(boybands? i hear people cursing)... the good old days again? hai, been listening, dunno why tearin up my heart juz rings so close 2 me... lol... oh, n i've been listening 2 nelly oso, nvr really realised how good he actually is... kinda like his style(i like eminem oso)... yeah, so been listening 2 these few songs, gonna whack no strings attached, damn nice... ok, imma gonna apologise here, 4 wasting everyone's time, cuz this is like my longest post ever, n more than half of it doesnt really quite concern anyone of u out there... so i'm truly sorrie 4 wasting ur time(unless u waste it willingly and on ur own accord, then its none of my business)... i've wasted like super alot of time oso, but i juz had 2 blog everything down lah... man, my juices are flowing again(i realised the word "juices" can be pretty sensitive, lol), juz keep writing and writing... hai, ok i think i'll stop here, til the next time i get this kind of nonstop flowing JUICES again, peace...

p.s.
this is the 2nd part of my super long post, 1st 1 should be below... so if u have no clue watsoever about wat i'm talking about, maybe juz read a little from below... or if u have no interest in reading it at all, then this post script is a waste of ur time... once again, i'm sorrie... lol...

haha, so long nvr blog, now got so many things 2 blog... gonna blog quite abit here, so bear with me... ok 1st things 1st, i am officially stuffed! wat the hell man, i ate like 3 meals in the space of 5 hours... lunch, ate fried rice AND chicken rice, with veggies n wat have u, then around 3 plus like that, ate chicken wings n drumlets lah(by then i'm already stuffed so u know wat comes next), at like 5 like that, went out 2 eat hokkien mee? by that time, i was like juz eat lah, already no feeling, not eating 4 taste liao, juz stuffing... well if i said i lost weight, now i think i gained it back with surplus man(muscleman would be proud? lol)...

ok, thats 4 stuffing myself... on2 combined skuls... well, havent been feeling all that well lately, n juz decided 2 go 4 this 1 2day since feeling abit better... so well, havent been combined skuls training 4 bout 4-5 weeks? havent seen most of the guys as well... so did training n blah, dead beat, i am out of shape... did alot of running man... ok so anyway, about the combined skuls, well the coach talked about defence n everything, n he said the 1st team goal would be 2 defeat the cat high malaysians... wow, when i heard that, i was like "hell yeah man!!!"... wah, since like dunno when, i've juz been hating the cat highs 4 gettin the stupid malaysians 2 play 4 them n "kope" the bloody bdiv gold... i'm like damn pissed whenever it comes 2 this lah... i mean if u win with singaporeans(like serangoon gardens, quite frankly i dun like them juz as much, but at least they use singaporeans? its friggin singapore), then not so bad lah, go malaysia n kope players like this juz 2 win? wah cant stand it, monopolizing the basketball arena... its juz like chelsea lah(dun get me started on chelsea), wth... so its like, when he talked about beating cat high i was like, "wow man, this is it" kinda feeling... suddenly damn motivated lah... its like, juz want 2 get in2 the team of 12 so badly? this is juz the thing i need... get 2 whoop some malaysian ass in the process(i'm gonna get sued?)... i dunno why i juz get this feeling with the combined skuls squad, not saying that our own team is bad or worse off or something, but its juz that u know, i juz found life again in bball with the combined skuls... the combined skuls players not say that close 2 me compared with my own teammates, n there is no guarantee that i will get a place in the team... n maybe thats the main driving force n enthu-ness, n its something that i wanna bring over into our own skul team man... lol... whoop those cat high malaysians ass man... give them a taste of their own medicine, choke them on defence, burn their ass on offence man(nvr hear me talk about bball until like this on my blog, only get this much enthu-ness from probably danny, alot of passion)... wah hands seriously itchy liao, wanna go whack something... lol...

ok moving on, b4 i really go whack something(hopefully not something made in malaysia or wat have u)... well, imma talk about my dad... see, i realised that i'm alot like my dad(not including the fact that he has muscles that look like they can do some serious damage 2 ur head, seriously freaks me out sometimes), n there's juz this similarity that scares me... well, i realised that both of us have alot of emotions actually(yes my dad does have emotions, so do most dads, juz in case ur wondering), n there's nothing wrong with emotions, but there's something wrong if u dun express it properly... there's a weakness i see, in both of us... i realised that actually my dad does care alot(dun say about me lah, but cares alot on the whole), n he does get worried n he will get happy when i do well or something... n of course he gets pissed n everything at me oso lah(thats when hes like gonna knock my brains out or something man, n it gets really messy), n i guess more often than not, he doesnt really know how 2 express his emotions lah... thats wat i'm afraid is happening 2 me... i mean, yes lah i do try 2 talk more, but there are still like certain "restricted zones" that i still leave a large part 2 myself... n i juz really dun wanna grow up "keeping quiet" so 2 speak... not saying my dad has a horrible personality or wat, but there are different times 4 different people 2 play different roles... its like 2day lah, i mean i can tell when he actually has emotions oso by simple things, like the show top gun, still remember its his like all time favourite show(back in the days of laser disc, aka LD), last time he would watch it the whole day lah(remember tom cruise, when he was younger, look exactly the same now after dunno how many years), then all the oldies oso come from there... ya, so they were showing it on star movies juz now, can tell he still loves the show lah, n its all these little things... i mean i think my dad is a great guy(not saying it 4 the sake of saying it), cept 4 the times he flips me upside down, but seriously, hes a really nice guy lah i think, juz doesnt know how 2 express his emotions well... n i dun wanna grow up like that, juz gotta learn how 2 express myself better(not juz talking cock, but really EXPRESSING myself) ok, i still have so much 2 say... i'll come back a little later 4 part 2... until then, peace...

well havent been blogging in a helluva long time... simply busy or juz damn lazy 2 update here... its well into the march hols(coming 2 the end if u think of it), n lotsa work left 2 be done... fell sick yesterday, aint gettin any better... my whole body is like dying, feeling damn lethargic, nose is running til nowhere, bad throat n wat have u... fever feels like its coming on and off... thats my past few days, really not helping my hols... 2day is lim zhen and kenneth's bday? so here's wishing them happy birthday(again)... hai, my birthday is so far off lah... but when that time comes, many changes are gonna take place... been wondering lately, what is perfection? u know many will say that they dun believe in perfection, or its heaven, or its when u score full marks 4 a maths test, or its when u find that something in ur life that makes u complete... well, i've been thinking about that... i really wonder at times, whether its is possible 2 have something perfect in our lives... its like in the world now, everything is so fast-paced and hectic, people juz dun appreciate things anymore... i wont deny that, cuz i havent been appreciative of alot of things myself... but lately, its like i see differently, i hear differently, i feel differently... and i dunno, maybe its cuz of the many things thats happened, that i finally woke up... its like i've been telling u about how perfect u are n everything, n now, i really see it... and i ask myself, is this my "perfection"? sometimes i juz feel that u can get so much better at times, and yet u settle 4 someone like me? and i'm not being negative or wat(i'm so out of that stage), but its like i feel that i'm lettin u down in a sense... but then again, i'm really setting my expectations of myself really high, especially when it comes 2 living up 2 ur perfection... and the more i get 2 know about u, its like all the little things, that makes ur perfection stand out even more... its like i cant find any fault in u at all? its scary at times... i'm pretty sure i'm not the only 1 that finds u this way, and u can be really happy anywhere else... sometimes i really wonder if ur truly happy with me... (once again, not being negative) u can probably get anything u want out there juz simply based on ur perfection... thats how i feel... i dun like the feeling when i'm not in control of wat happens around me(sounds like final destination 3? hell yeah), thats where fate comes in... but i still very much believe in everything between us? i dunno, i'm thinking 2 much again... my head is a little woozy, bet everything i've written is messed up and confusing... really not thinking straight but i had 2 get that out of my system somehow... been listening 2 this damn old backstreet boys song(yes, y'all heard me right its BSB), all i have to give... couldnt be more appropriate i feel... ok my head is starting 2 hurt again, i think i'd better lie down... come back here again with clearer thoughts, after i get this stupid flu bug outta my system... 4 all those who share their birthday 2day with my 2 other friends, heres wishing u all a happy birthday... and remember, u're ONE YEAR OLDER(no complete relevance watsoever, seriously i'm gettin really woozy)!!! peace...