so ends another week... n its about 2 begins all over again... 2day nothing much, geog was screwed... had 2 sing a song, i dun mind singing but of all songs we could sing we had 2 sing a good charlotte song... screwed up big time... pe was dumb, my hip area was damn painful, dunno why... would rather finish the stupid test... now have 2 do next week... chinese was basically another waste of time... have a feeling i m gonna fail chinese... anyway, as it turns out, no interclass... cuz of some unforseen circumstances... it rained anyway(quite heavily)... oh ya, didnt stay back til 6 2day... the phone ringing thing, dun think anyone owned up, ms tsang was probably 2 friggin pissed 2 bother... i would be oso lah... heck lah... so after skul, waited the rain out n played a little soccer(my hip wasnt pain liao?)... sian... so wake me up when september ends... i think its high time i do something... september is ending, as good as sleeping through the whole month... nothing constructive done... 2 weeks? 3 weeks til its over? final stretch? hai... juz friggin get this over n done wit... then i can start worrying bout other things... i gotta wake up...

i m beginning 2 get sick n tired of my life... really wonder how much i m gonna achieve if i keep going like this... i dunno how i m gonna pull myself through the next 4 years? n even longer... i need some sort of motivation in my life... its like when u wake up in the morning, u dun feel like gettin out of bed, ur breakfast is tasteless, the train ride 2 skul is another friggin waste of time, skul itself is a pathetic bore, the train ride home is a the 2nd time in that day u wish u had a life, home is juz a memory, b4 u sleep, u tell urself 2morrow is going 2 be a better day, but inside u know it will nvr come... i need some motivation, at least 4 the next 4 years... basketball is not working 4 me anymore, quite frankly i m tired of basketball... i m 2 tired 2 find anything within me... how m i 2 live the rest of my life? i cant use u as an excuse no more because it simply wont work 4 me, i finally got some sense in2 my thick skull... i feel nothing when i talk 2 u, i shed no tears when i see u sad, i show no emotion when i look at u... because its over... it happened 1 too many times, i truly cared 4 that person 4 the last time when i gave up... when i gave up the only thing that kept me going... when i gave up the only thing that gave me a reason... when i gave up on u... where can i look 2 now, cuz i know u dun care anymore... u told me so... does life bring about new hope, or stop completely? friends are only there 4 so long... can they tell u that we would be best friends 4ever n keep 2 their word... how long does a friendship truly last? is there such a thing as 4ever? are ur friends all part of a play? n is anything that happens on the stage of life real? can u put ur last dime on ur best friend sticking through with u no matter wat, til the end, watever it takes? because i know i cant... i would be lying 2 myself if i said i could... so is there true friendship out there? is there a friendship that would last 4ever? no man is an island... but would u rather be an island, than 2 have unclear waters around u, than having 2 live with the lies of a friend, than having ur heartbroken by someone u care... because i know i would... i have a sad life, i juz needed 2 get it out... life goes on, but 4 how long? can i ever live a normal life again? i need 2 pull through, no matter wat it takes... the only reason 4 survival muz come from within, because the only person i know that will be there with me til the end is myself... i gave up, when i looked in2 ur eyes... i know that was the last time, i cared...

hai, been 2 lazy 2 blog past few days... really really tired, dunno why... quite a few stuff been happening over the past few days... well, tests... mon totally screwed up my maths test... i think its gonna be a failing grade... seriously... then 2day had eng lit letter writing, n sci prac... letter was ok, prac was screwed... that's why i hate bio so... anyway, been slacking, as usual, with cts in less than 2 weeks, feeling the pressure now... i have given up hope on myself... i feel like dun care now, but after cts cannot enjoy life proper... so i think its best 2 slog it out now... ok, now 4 more interesting events... during cle, some dumb shit phone rang, which no 1 seemed 2 pick up, then later ms tsang ask who does it belong 2, no 1 admit... screwed the whole friggin class over, not the 1st time it happened though(u sux incident)... so wth man... i mean we were juz talking about one 4 all, all 4 one... great... thx 2 that coward(i have more of where that came from), we supposed 2 stay back on fri until 6... good luck wit that man... i mean wth lah... that guy is seriously a coward lah, talk about being 2gether as a class... completely opposite lah, spilt the class even further if u ask me... izznt it selfish, juz 2 save ur own face, ur own pride, u put the class in this situation... i hate 2 see it when ms tsang has 2 do this lah... i mean havent we got enuff from her in the 1st half of the year... it is stressful 4 her as it is 4 us lah... i dun care about chai yaw cuz he gives us hell... but spare a tot 4 the lady? come on lah, whoever that guy is(i doubt he is reading this), juz own up... i cant believe someone like this, who has been through so much wit the class 4 the past 1 year plus, juz 2 save face or some other reason, not 2 show guts n be a coward... i could go on, but i think i will leave it there lah... i juz cannot understand that person lah... whoever he is... anyway, this brings me 2 my next problem... interclass... i have been rambling on about this interclass 4 god only knows how long... but its not over yet... well, if we have 2 stay back til 6 2morrow, mean no interclass 4 2c(obvious), some people obviously dun give a shit... i mean, ok lah, i may be selfish, cuz i really wanna play the interclass, but at least if u not gonna play n dun give a shit, plz dun spoil the moment 4 others who want 2... another point of the idiot's selfishness... can tell not everyone is pysched about the interclass... dun blame them... but spare a tot 4 people who are? sian lah, then some say maybe not 2morrow so i m very confused now... i dunno wth is going on... dun care lah... screwing up my life, as some people out there nvr fail 2... hiya, screw school... will talk about something else, movies... saw abit of the next karate kid, i dunno why i watched it, but when i turn on tv, there hilary swank was... then her face very familiar, cuz we watched million dollar baby during philo... wow her muscles are messed up in million dollar baby man... they were huge(4 a girl lah)... she like took out this other chick wit 2 blows lah... anyway, saw her on the next karate kid(kinda old)... she was really hot then lah, dunno why now suddenly so... jennifer garner like... lol... guess she is in2 action or something... all fight movies 1... but last time she looks really great, got good stuff in the right places(if ya know wat i mean)... nothing much left... looking 2 see if 2morrow will pull through(i doubt it though)... but really dun wanna miss interclass... so we'll see how lah... been listening 2 sing for the moment by eminem... here's a line from the song n i'll leave wit this message(although i have no idea wat it has 2 do wit me or anyone 1 else 4 that matter)... "they say music can alter moods and talk to you..."

wah a damn sian day 2day... nothing much happened... basically slacked once again... i cant believe how good i m at slacking... this morning everything was going fine, was doing my work, managed 2 cover quite alot given the short amount of time i had... then after lunch, everything screwed... i fell asleep n there goes my afternoon... i slept all the way 2 dinner(now that is messed up, i mean who sleeps the whole friggin afternoon away?)... n i realised i wasted my whole friggin day once again... juz when i finally tot i was going 2 change 4 the better... anyway, had dinner then watched jurassic park: the lost world on channel 5, then watched miracle on star world after that... so basically there goes my evening... jurassic park was juz time killer(watched it dunno how many times liao, could even guess wat the guy was going 2 say next), but miracle, now that was a great show... another sports movie, ice hockey 2 be exact... great show about underdogs... like wat our bball team went through last year... i juz love these kinda movies... quote from the show, "do you believe in miracles?" hell yeah i do... the miracle is in ur hands, so be the miracle... anyway wasted my whole evening(thats like 4 hours) on the movies... now i realised i still got so much 2 cover on my maths test 2morrow... i get so freaked when it comes 2 maths tests... i dunno why, maybe cuz no matter how much u prepare 4 them, the teachers always find a way 2 mess u around... in the end come out some messed up question that i can never seem 2 solve during the test, then after the test when the teacher goes through the paper, it would look like a 1+1 question... i completely flip out when it comes to maths tests or quiz or anything 2 do wit maths 4 that matter... now i have 2 go do some trigo questions b4 i fail trigo once again(messed up my trigo quiz big time)... n i await the beginning of the end... hai, another day in the life(boring) of me... i think i m stressin meself out like this, maybe should try 2 lighten up the mood a little... alyson michalka is hot... there u go, something that has no relevance whatsoever 2 my day or anything else i have talked about so far... alyson michalka, plays keely teslow in phil of the future n allyson in now you see it... born on 25 march 1989(16 this year, for all those of u out there who failed maths juz like i did) in torrance, california... mouth abit big but still very cho... how do i know so much? the internet, ever heard? well had nothing 2 do... no idea why i bothered 2 search anyway... another 1 of my futile attempts 2 waste time... she's really hot... especially in the movie now you see it... the movie is dumb, but worth watching cuz she's in it... lol... i think i should stop about alyson michalka... b4 people think i m a sick tormented pervert(maybe some of them dun think, they know)... ok back 2 reality... man u lost yesterday 2 blackburn 2-1... one kinda crap game... classic example of a team wit all the possesion, n still loses in the end... wth man, man u had almost 90% of the shots in the 1st half n they couldnt score? wth... then the morten gamst pedersen(i think thats how u spell his name, couldnt be bothered) had 2 score from a free kick n a shot in the 82 min... wth is wrong wit man u? hiya, i think(sadly 2 say) that the title chase is over... its no longer about man u or any other team winning all their matches, its about chelsea dropping points... as hard as it is 4 me 2 say this, but chelsea is the team 2 beat right now... i could go on about chelsea(or any other team) n the epl... but i think, thats another story 4 another day... i think i have wasted enuff of ur time(by reading this post) as well as mine(by writing this post)... so its time 2 take a bath, get the pen n paper, n do some final maths revision(although i hardly think it would help my situation right now) b4 2morrow... hopefully my afternoon nap(a frighteningly long one) will pay off 2night... gotta get something done about trigo otherwise i can kiss my test goodbye... n now i should kiss this(rather long) entry goodbye... so goodbye...

back 2 finish off the liverpool thing... quite hard not 2... left off at 2-1, birmingham lead... then liverpool had a shot that hit the crossbar, came back down off the keeper's back n was about 2 go in2 the goal when the stupid guy stuck out his hand n hit the ball away... damn dumb lah, like the ref wouldnt have seen that... anyway he got a red card 4 his troubles n off the pitch he went... then cisse stepped up 2 take the penalty... n guess wat, he oso came on as a sub... coolly placed penalty sending the keeper the wrong way... wat a turn 4 liverpool, in the 82 min some more... got their butts saved by a dumb defender... wat a game... lol... damn messed up... 4 goals in total, 3 subs scoring, 2 goals apiece for liverpool n birmingham n 1 own goal... lol, how can i not round up this game?

was watching the 1st half of the liverpool birmingham game... pretty much a bummer thats why i came here 2 blog... liverpool's game are gettin more n more sian... they cant score, n they cant concede... so it juz basically watching the round thing rolling around the rectangle green thing... damn sian... anyway, while watching the game kept thinking about interclass, the more i think, the more i have a bad feeling about it... seriously have a bad feeling... dunno why... we'll juz wait n see... well, 2day had the course option briefing... well, now i'm thinking over my choices again lah... at 1st wanted triple science n geog... now i not so sure... cuz i dun really like bio... then during the briefing they kept saying a balanced selection... n then i have 2 be interested in the subject otherwise will die... so i dunno lah... maybe 2 sci n 2 humanities? i really dunno... but like alot of people take hist leh? i dun quite like hist, damn sian, but been scoring ok so maybe leave my options open? hiya dunno lah... when the time comes, i'll know wat 2 do lah... anyway, alot of things happened 2day at home... screwed up my day completely... 1st thing wake up got problem liao... wth man... completely messed up my schedule 2day lah... why do u have 2 drag me in2 ur problems ar? sick n tired of this when it happens lah... felt my day was friggin screwed cuz of this lah... anyway, only thing i can take away from 2day was that i managed 2 do some of my maths supplementary exercise... finally got down 2 some muggin... got maths comin up on mon... felt quite good actually, being able 2 keep 2 my word n mug... will do more later, after man u blackburn game, that is if i dun drop dead on my bed... oh ya, juz now watched face off... damn nice show... nicholas cage n john travolta... i like the plot... switching faces n switching lives... maybe i could switch faces... then the person can finally see my love, in the face of her lover... then she would finally have the love she deserves... anyway, i liked this scene in the movie... when john travolta(castor troy) n nicholas cage(sean archer) both had their backs 2 either side of this double sided mirror, both wit guns in their hands... then john travolta says, "maybe we should kill each other", then both of them turn around n point thier guns in2 the mirror... when all they see is themselves, but actually they are staring at the faces of the one they are trying 2 kill... those that watched the show should know wat i mean... that scene was pure brilliance... another film from john woo... great show... damn old though... the woman who played sasha in the show is quite cho, her name is gina gershon i think... but the show is damn old, so i dunno how she looks now... she looks kinda like eva mendez... lol... anyway back 2 the liverpool game... i had 2 take back my words at the beginning of the entry even b4 i finish it... i said liverpool cant score n cant concede... well, luis garcia came off the bench 2 score in the 2nd half, then birmingham equalized through a liverpool own goal... stupid warnock, lol... now liverpool have fallen behind through a goal by birmingham... 4got the scorer's name, but oso a came on as a sub... one goal after another, now 2-1 in favour of birmingham... i think i'd better leave right now... b4 i miss anymore action... have a great sunday ahead...

finally the end of a long week of skul... really tired these few days... dunno why... the only thing on my mind right now is the cts... kinda freaking myself out... how much time do i have left? wat, slightly more than 2 weeks? i m gonna be so fried 4 this ct unless i do something about it now... been slackin my brains out during lesson these few days lah... nvr pay any attention at all... now i damn scared eng n chin, cuz cover alot that i nvr listen, somemore they are my weakest subjects... so i m screwed big time... now everything 4 the year starts to count... all the little test n quiz, project tasks, assignment... starting 2 haunt me now... those are 2 late 4 regrets... but the future is still out there(i seriously hope so)... seriously gotta stop slacking, i keep telling myself that, but in the end still slack... on 1 hand i wanna do well 4 the cts, on the other i keep slacking... i guess it all boils down 2 determination n self discipline... i muz start now otherwise it will be 2 late... i think i m worrying 2 much about it, i should really start doing something about it already... juz wanna settle it with no regrets... finally got that off my chest... anyway enuff about the ct 4 the time being... can u believe it, the skul year is almost up... n i seemed almost like it was only yesterday when i 1st stepped in2 ri... man, so many things have happened over this 1+ year wit 2C... both good n bad... i wonder wat imma gonna do when i step in2 a different class next year... when i'll be thinking of the time we played kampong in class, played cards... paper balls, gettin screwed by chai yaw n wincy... man, its become so much a part of my life now it would juz seem weird if it didnt happen anymore... all the laughter, the noise in class... cant imagine sitting in a pin-drop slience class next year... no more jokes, no more weird people, no more hysterical laughter, no more teasing, no more crap from 2C... no more 2C... seriously man... i mean being wit the same people 4 almost 2 years n suddenly u are dealt a new hand, n the old faces are only faded lines... kinda sad lah... even scolding from wincy or chai yaw izznt really that bad now u think of it... cuz u dunno when u'll be getting the last 1... with all of this laid out b4 me... maybe its time 2 really appreciate 2C 4 a class it truly is, cuz i may nvr be in another 1 quite like this... its damn sad lah, n its not even the end of the year lah... hai, i think its the sad songs i've been listening 2 lah... michael learns to rock, 25 minutes... 1 heck of a song man... i think i've said this b4, but no harm saying it again... old love songs are the best... it really captures the emotions n plays it out in2 ur heart... at least it does 4 me lah... i guess all these songs really set my mood lah... thats why half the time i m talking about love n the love that could nvr be n wat sort... so there i think u have the reason 4 my crappy love posts... wats a letter without 1 2 read it? no point writing all the love crap if the person doesnt know how i truly feel inside, so 4get about it... move on wit life... there are so many other things i should spend my care on, not something that would only take n not give... i'm listening 2 25 minutes, n thinking of my friends... although i cant see any relevance between the song n my friends... but i know time is running out... gotta start doing something wit my life... lets hope i'm not "25 minutes too late..."

Michael Learns To Rock
25 Minutes

After some time I've finally made up my mind
she is the girl and I really want to make her mine
I'm searching everywhere to find her again
to tell her I love her and I'm sorry 'bout the things I've done

I find her standing in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looks so happy in her wedding dress
but she's crying while she's saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry you are
twentyfive minutes too late

Against the wind I'm going home again
wishing me back to the time when we were more than friends

But still I see her in front of the church
the only place in town where I didn't search
She looked so happy in her wedding dress
but she cried while she was saying this

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry you are
twentyfive minutes too late

Out in the streets
places where hungry hearts have nothing to eat
inside my head
still I can hear the words she said

Chorus:
Boy I've missed your kisses all the time but this is
twentyfive minutes too late
Though you travelled so far boy I'm sorry your are
twentyfive minutes too late

I can still hear her say.......

hai, 2day slack day... didnt feel like paying attention at all... had geog, then pe 2day, swimming again... after that damn tired... philo, eng n re... wah 2day during lesson we(ivan, darryl n zf) started talking about super old songs by backstreet boys, nsync, micheal learns 2 rock n all these... siao 1, we kept talking about the songs, then kept singing during lesson lah, dunno if martina noticed or not... lol... wow those songs are really old, but still very nice... can still remember last time in the car, my dad would play micheal learns 2 rock, backstreet boys... super nice their songs... juz needed a little reminder... didnt know zf knew so much about songs, or at least old songs... the songs are seriously damn nice... old love songs are the best... anyway spent like 1hr of the day talking about songs lah... then during re, had a talk on financial planning... at 1st i was like wth are we doing here, but after that i realised that it was important 2 plan 4 ur future... i want a car!!! lol... after i get a job, n maybe my drivers licence... anyway the talk was enlightening, even though i nearly fell asleep... oh ya, inter-class coming up... now kinda in a dilemma, cuz dunno who 2 put down on the name list... its like u wanna let everyone play, but there are not enuff places, so some people wont get 2 play lah... feel kinda bad... why cant they juz put in more places... hiya, hope the interclass is not this week, cuz i dun have my friggin shoes, better get them over the weekend... but i afraid next fri got training... die lah, later like last year like that... should tell coach earlier, hope he will understand... but interclass so soon, b4 ct? i dunno lah... sounds kinda weird... see how lah... cant wait though(at least until my shoes come)... hai, on our way back home 2day, had a conversation about girls(no, its not about love or anything sick)... i was like saying older women are more attractive, but others had different ideas... i dunno why we were talking about that in the 1st place, but i think older women are more attractive cuz they are more mature... as in not the looks type but more of the personality... its like u can have a better conversation with a woman that has confidence in herself and is more mature mentally... n sometimes it is nicer than trying 2 carry a conversation wit a 14 year old girl... probably easier 2... not directing this at any particular 14 year old girl... lol... leaving the physical assets aside, a mature lady would definately be more "attractive", cuz its not always about looks, sometimes wats inside counts more... but not 2 old lah, like 20 something maybe? dunno lah, juz my opinion... talking about opinion, during philo 2day had the discussion topic of "should free expression be allowed on the internet?"... interesting topic... since i m writing this on my blog, obviously the answer 2 that question 4 me is yes right... but there definately should be regulations 2 prevent any form of defamation... but like a point brought up during the discussion, the writer's intention may vary from the reader's interpretation, so even a simple statement can lead 2 a misunderstanding, which in turn will cause alot of problems... so maybe its not a good idea 2 have a blog??? dunno lah, but muz play safe... i think its ok 2 express ur own views, but dont have any personal attacks n remarks that might hurt another person... n dun get mixed up wit the big timers like government n stuff... so i m like making a mess of my own points now, so it would probably be a good time 2 juz stop... gonna go listen 2 some more oldies, micheal learns 2 rock rox... catching up wit the good old days...

i think i should stop talking about love, i must be boring half the world 2 death out there... maybe not talking about love will help 2 take my mind off stuff abit... well 2day got down 2 business, had my trigo quiz 2day, which i totally screwed up, then had an oral comm presentation, totally unprepared, i think i pulled it off(i hope i pulled it off)... then had the 2nd part of chinese cct, letter writing... was pretty ok lah... pretty much my day, full of assessments... ct is juz round the corner, so i should start 2 mug n stop playing the com already(i must admit it is a little late 2 be saying that, better late than never though)... so i shall start 2 focus on my work(at least after i finish blogging)... watched married to the kellys juz now, the susan in the show is damn hot, the actress who played susan is kiele sanchez... wow... lol... i guess i only watch the show cuz of her, not really that funny lah, but still ok... moving on, watched the reality tv winners special of fear factor, kinda cool, always liked fear factor, watch people gross out... dun think i would be able 2 do half the stunts but always cool 2 watch others fail... anyway i think jenna n ethan(both winners of survivor) are a great couple, ethan is a lucky guy n he rox... jenna looks so different though, guess during survivor got used 2 seeing the skinny jenna, now she put on some weight, all in the right places... lol... she looks so much better now... anyway the winner of the bachelorette dude won, ethan nearly won lah, sad case... anyway ethan got the chick so if i were him i wouldnt be complaining... then got this b***h on the show, really nasty man... hiya dun talk about her, lol, she was on the apprentice btw, somemore she didnt win lah, supposed 2 be a winners special??? anyway i m so hooked on2 this song by 潘玮柏, called 不得不爱... man its damn nice... 1st heard it on miss tsang's blog, then from then on couldnt get the tune outta my head... once i hear a nice song i get really addicted 2 it(i can still remember baby i'm back by baby bash feat. akon)... some more i dun really listen 2 chinese songs, so this is kinda new 4 me... nvr really been addicted 2 chinese songs b4, so i'm like wth m i missing man... lol... should start listening 2 more chinese songs man... then the female singer in the song, i dunno her name, she sounds damn cho... cant help but notice... lol... i've nvr seen her b4, but should be quite cho lah... from her voice, maybe those cute cute type... i dunno why i m saying this, but juz thought it was kinda interesting... anyway i have the song on my mp3, cant stop... so i think thats about it 4 2day... looking 4ward 2 muggin 4 the rest of the week, n the rest of the 3 weeks b4 the ct in fact... actually, nah... not looking 4ward 2 it at all... so imma hoping it will be a good week ahead... peace...

i tot these feelings were over... i tot they were juz playing wit my heart and head... but why, when i see ur face and when i see you smile... i get that feeling again... those feelings died and came back once again... why? n when i see u laugh 2 another guy's jokes, i feel anger... or izzit jealousy... why? it could never work out the way i want it to... no matter what i try 2 do, the relationship can only go so far... beyond which is only a dream... yet these feelings keep haunting me, these emotions juz cannot find a way around me... my head tells me that this cannot go on, but my heart cannot seem 2 let you go... i know i need myself back, but my heart keeps giving me away... of all things i should be thinking of now, the last thing should be love... people will tell me that i'm not ready n there are more important things in life right now... but i juz cant get u out of my system... juz a glimpse of ur face, juz a smile, n everything becomes so much better... at the same time when i see u with another guy, my heart fills my head wit anger n jealousy... i tell myself this is not love... this is nothing but an infatuation... a crush... but when will the feeling go away? how do i make it go away... this has no way of working itself out, but my heart clings on tighter everytime i try 2 let go... should i distance myself from u, yet i fear my heart will find a way 2 turn the distance in2 a stronger desire... i cannot let myself be with u 4 my own doings of jealousy will strangle the relationship... i cant let myself fall in2 another hole in which i have no way 2 dig myself out of... how do i give u up? could this mean there is more 2 it than meets the eye... how can i let go of the love that was never meant 2 be, once n 4 all... i wish i could tell my heart that it could never happen, n i only want the best 4 u... this cannot drag any further 4 it may cost me more than i can pay... i must start 2 move on wit my life, if only i knew how...

i finally get 2 use the com, my sis keeps hoggin the com lah... she's only 9, imagine if she's 16 or something... anyway, went out 4 breakfast this morning wit my aunt from england... she came over yesterday, from ipoh... juz met up with her when we went back 2 malaysia, then now she comes down 2 singapore... i cant really remember the last time i saw her(apart from like a week ago when we went back 2 ipoh, duh)... it was such a long time ago, nvr really got a chance 2 know her... actually i dun really know any of my relatives from my mum's side(she has 10 siblings, not an easy task)... so my aunt is staying over 4 the weekend... leaving 2night... so, watched this show "Zero Hour : The Last Hour Of Flight 11" on discovery channel... was really nice... if anyone of u out there didnt know, flight 11 was the plane that crashed in2 the world trade center... the show, or should i say documentary talked about how the hijackers took over the plane and all that stuff... i dunno why i m intrigued by this sort of thing... its like history sort of thing... i m juz so curious 2 find out exactly what happened... anyway they showed the process n everything, went through the minds of the hijackers, the flight attendant, the control station... then they had this part where they showed this young woman, found out that she was pregnant on that fateful day, she went 2 work as usual at the world trade center, on her way to work she stopped by the pharmacy to get another pregnancy test juz 2 confirm it... she decided to do the test again once she got 2 her work place and call back her husband... she did her daily routine, stopped by 2 get breakfast, everything seemed normal... she was so excited about her baby... she got 2 her office on the 98 floor of the north tower of the world trade center... she did the test n it was positive... she called her husband n that was the last time he ever heard from her... her last words were, "we're gonna have a baby..." that was wat really hit me bad man... i mean there are so many stories out there... about this incident... yeah everyone has their stories, but 2 hear 1 like this... it really got me thinking man... about life... life is so powerful, yet at the same time so fragile... life is so complex... there are so many things 2 life... yet we overlook the most important ones... and we let life slip by, every tick on the clock, every sunrise every sunset... our lives are draining away... how much have we really done with our lives... how much care have we really shown to the ones we love... how much do we know about life and the world around us... how much time have we left... everything juz seem so unreal... when death is thrown in ur face, is when u truly appreciate life... how much time do we truly have left? b4 life is taken away from us... look at the lives lost during 911... did they know they were gonna be taken away from this earth? did they know it was their last day? all these things juz sets u thinking man... it got me thinking about everything... somemore september 11 was juz a few days ago, n honestly i didnt even notice... with everything flashing by so quickly, no1 ever stops 2 look at the flowers anymore, no1 ever stops 2 enjoy the raindrops or the sunset... no1 ever lives their lives anymore... bet many of u people out there think this is crap, but when all of this is taken away from, it may be 2 late to do anything about it... i guess everyone is like cursing me or something, gettin so emotional over things like that, but hey, thats me lah, so deal wit it... lol... but seriously, i think everyone has their own philosophies in life, their own saying... but everyone should learn 2 appreciate life, n thats all i can say... whatever way u do it, however u do it, just do it...

well, a kinda good day 2day... finally the end of the week, a pretty long 1... 2day got most of the lesson out of da way, then had pe, swimming... swam in pj... was damn funny... after that got 2 play polo... was kinda fun... then had the stupid chinese book test... turned out ok... managed 2 do quite abit(even though i nvr read)... in the end no time so those i dunno juz whack only... n finally 1 long, tiring and busy week of skul ends... now its time 2 lean back n chill... after skul went 2 play soccer 4 like 1 hr plus... play until shuang... manage 2 work out, should have a good chance at interclass this year... the sun was damn hot, but who cares... hai, went 2 watch sec1 interclass after that... i muz say... their standard is so much lower than that of ours when we played last year... they only have a few outstanding players in a few classes only... mostly juz kampong... saw a couple of shock defeats, like the team with practically all the possesion n all the shots, let slip 1 time defensively, n cost them the game... kinda sad... 1 shot 1 goal... dunno call tyco or skill... wah saw edelweiss(is that how u spell her name?)... she was down supporting her class... cool man... or should i say hot... anyway, had a bunch of bees come interrupt the game, i think 1 guy got stung lah, sad case... lol... so friggin tired when i got home went straight 2 sleep... sleep until 11 plus then i realised i missed survivor!!! sometimes i really juz hate myself... man, somemore 2day is the new season lah... wth... i'll have 2 catch it next week lah... crap... a long week finally ends... experienced many emotions... now i gettin a another feeling... beginning 2 let go... not thinking about someone so much already... i guess its the work n ct n all... but its like i finally understand n i m willing 2 let go with no regrets... guess it was going 2 end sooner or later... cuz it can nvr happen... but then why were the feelings so... strong??? i dunno lah... better not 2 think so much... hai, finally can put something down... better start 2 focus on cts... it was just nvr meant to be i guess... it was juz nvr meant to be...

hai... didnt manage 2 blog yesterday, 2 tired... will try 2 cover everything... yesterday bio was kinda, messed up? actually i think it was ok, but i think i screwed myself up... nothing i can do now, nvr really liked bio anyway... then 4 cle we had a talk on career thing, found it quite interesting, maybe useful... since we're on the topic of careers, been thinking about wat i wanna be when i grow up... not sure really, 2 be honest i have no clue... being a teacher crossed my mind, but after seeing how teachers live their lives, i dun think its such a good idea... all the stress n wat stuff, i dun think i have the patience oso so teacher izznt really a good choice... anyway, i think the most important thing about ur job is that u muz like it... cuz u will be doing it 4 the rest of ur life(or at least until u retire)... u seriously have 2 like wat u are doing otherwise it will be hell, imagine doing something that u hate 4 the rest of ur life(think skul), it would be 1 kind of a miserable life man... anyway, back 2 the teacher point... i think most teacher choose 2 become a teacher not because of the pay, or an easy job(cuz teaching aint an easy job), i would think they chose 2 become teachers to teach(duh), n 2 make a difference in the students' lives... cuz teaching aint juz about wats inside the classroom, its oso about the things in life that can't be found in the textbooks... sometimes its not all about the grades, its about life, n u cant get lessons on life through textbooks n hw, sometimes u need a teacher... then there's this teacher, who feels that he/she izznt being appreciated, feel that he/she is not needed in the skul... that could not be further from the truth, i mean hey, although sometimes its hard 2 see when others care 4 u, but it doesnt mean that they dun... maybe they dun show it, maybe u dun realise it, n i dun blame ya, but nvr feel unappreciated... 2day in robotics, we(or at least i did) realised that jerry ang(our robotics teacher 4 those who dunno) is gonna get sacked... cuz they wanna friggin close down robotics... i was wth when i heard it man... everything was ok until 2 people decided 2 be petty over a small thing, had him scolding, then he told us they gonna close down robotics n gonna like fire him... dunno if true or not but should be cuz no 1 jokes about this sort of thing... wth man... cant help but feel 4 him man... i mean, 1st u tell someone that u closing down his subject cuz it aint important, then u fire him... its like gettin fired with a slap in the face... then after that he seem 2 break down, went loose screw on us... got kinda nuts... the stress i guess... he has 2 kids lah, without a job wat is he gonna do? even if u close down the subject, at least give him another position in the skul right... furthermore hes been here like 10 years(according 2 him)... really cant help but feel 4 him lah... sad case... so well, eventful day... really got me thinking... things shouldnt turn out this way, it juz aint right...

argh, headache... sian... 2day was damn slack... eng lit, pe, maths, chin, n re... eng lit nvr pay attention, watching ivan n zf play some anagram game, then pe swimming, didnt really look 4ward 2 it but turned out ok... maths eddie nvr come so played tai-ti, chin was a bummer, bored 2 death by the new chin teacher, re was slack... hiya so basically slack day lah... man, 2day had that funky feeling again... dunno how 2 explain... i mean like when u see someone 4 the 1st time along the road or something, u will like say," man she's hot...", but if u get a chance to know that person, when u start getting close, things change... when u find that u can click wit that person, everything is so different... whenever u see that person, it no longer becomes a "wow she's hot" kinda look, it becomes a "hey thats a close friend" kinda look... u know wat i mean... sometimes it aint juz about the physical appearance, but yeah, 1st impressions count, u would definately wanna be wit someone of reasonable appearance(cant expect much though), but after awhile, that person's looks dont matter 2 u anymore, its more of the quality of the relationship ya have wit that person... its like when u talk 2 that person, u juz have a feeling that the 2 of u click... n sometimes its hard 2 finds someone who really cares about wat is happening 2 u... who u can really talk 2... can understand u... ya know... so izzit a close friend, a crush, or love? that i have no answer to... but if ya find someone like this, someone this true, dun let that relationship slip, cuz there aint no way back... yeah people may say hey its not easy 2 keep a good relationship going, which is true cuz it takes two 2 tango... there may be other reasons that may keep 2 people apart(trust me, i know)... but when u find someone this real, u should cherish it... nvr take things 4 granted... cuz u nvr know when u might lose it... n when its gone, its gone... there's no turning back... if only...

after the 1st day back in skul, all i have 2 say is skul sux(4 all those out there who didnt already know this)... 2day wasnt really eventful, quite sian oso... when there is nothing 2 do, it is sian, when there is a lot of hw, oso sian, so ya know... anyway headmaster assembly 2day was short, really short, good thing otherwise i would have died in there... after that nothing much happened, all the lesson were boring, having all the teachers remind us that the cts are in 4 weeks time, i was like, " thx 4 reminding us, we can count!?!?!" but ya lah, time aint on our side, gotta pick up the books n hit the notes... dun wanna mess this 1 up... during hist kena from eric koh, like i was the only 1 in class talking??? come on lah, the whole friggin class was talking, purposely pick me... heck lah, no harm... good thing 2day aint no bio quiz, otherwise would have gotten screwed big time... man, izzit juz me or izzit BORING!!! but going back 2 skul brings about some good sides 2, like it keeps ur mind going(mine is already dead), be witcha friends, check out the chicks(not many lah, but when ya see them, they're hot)... hai, do i look like i m in love? weird question, but people have asked me that... not exactly in love i guess? i dunno... weird feelings, hard to explain... maybe my msn is giving people wrong impressions... dunno lah... wth, who would want a guy like me in the 1st place... hahahahaha... hope 2morrow will be a better day, at least not as sian... muz mug 4 bio quiz liao... dna sux... gonna catch friends now... peace...

well finally got this thing up... or at least i think i got most of it up... nothing to do so i decided to waste my time doing this... hai, the holis are over already, which is so damn fast... cant believe everything juz flew by so quickly... and so begins another chapter of the skul year, which is oso the last 4 2005... so many things had 2 happen over this short period of time... cant possibly cover everything, so i will leave the past n start from here... well 2morrow is the 1st day of skul, i m not looking 4ward 2... i m not even sure if there is a bio quiz or not, so i m wat the heck lah... i seriously do not feel like goin back to skul, n i m sure many other people out there feel the same... but wat 2 do??? well 4 me personally there is only 1 reason i can think of 2 go back 2 skul... well i aint telling wat it is, but it is strong enuff 2 wake me up 2morrow morning, get my lazy bum off the bed n off 2 skul... when everything else seems 2 sux real bad, i tell myself, "relax, juz look on the brighter side of things, cuz if u feel this way, a thousand other people will feel ten times worse... if u aint gonna be doing it 4 anyone, juz think ur doing it 4 her..."