The deepest scars are more than just skin-deep.

well, i just watched "Just My Luck" on Star Movies not too long ago and i will say it again like i said it more than a year ago, it was a great show! somehow i seemed more mesmerized by lindsay lohan back then, but anyways... the show was totally nice and a great way to end off the evening... so, i spent most of the day out with my family for some retail therapy (i wonder if guys are legally allowed to use that term), and destination of choice was vivocity... actually our real agenda was to help my mum test out some food product at harbourfront, and after our second breakfast that morning (dun ask), we ended up shopping around at vivo... well, so my dad got a new phone, upgraded some internet thingy, my sis bought this pair of converse shoes and my mum got a bag (i think)... i actually didnt get anything but it just feels so good to go out shopping, and i actually feel really good when i see everyone so happy with their stuff... so after everyone was satisfied with the substantial hole in my parents' pocket, we went home and i went swimming... which was a wrong move cuz the water was frigid and i nearly died from hypothermia (no kid)... felt so dead that i didnt feel like doing much else so i decided to trash my wardrobe and give away stuff to the salvation army... i realised its really relaxing to put on some jazz/pop like jamiroquai while ur doing some mundane work like packing... packing stuff can be a real chore but with nice music, time seems to pass alot faster... so anyway i've really given my clothes a nice big run-through and i realised that i have alot of unwanted-slash-unworn-slash-unwearable-slash, basically alot of clothes... think i have one whole pile waiting to be given away... next up is cleaning out my worksheets and rubbish regarding school thats clogging up my room, not to mention the negative vibes and stuff... but thats for another time i guess, and this rounds up a rather fruitful day...

i've been thinking back lately, and it's really quite amazing how quickly this year has come to an end... somehow you always hear yourself saying this at the end of every year, but it really never fails to impress me... i mean at the start of every year, i get this feeling of hope, this sense of anticipation... the feeling that something good is going to come along... and yeah, maybe there are many things i should be thankful for, but havent been... and the worst part is i keep holding onto all that negative stuff... this year for me, has been great... i really couldnt remember anything too significantly horrible that i must complain about... i even survived the exams, nothing else could stop me right? it was all great until about 4 weeks ago (in fact it was exactly 4 weeks ago)... i never knew something like this could have changed my life this way... and all of a sudden, my world comes crashing down on itself... i really dunno, i cant seem to get it out of my head, but yet sometimes, its as if it never happened... maybe this thing was supposed to teach me a lesson, but i'm afraid i'm not doing very well... i know if i just let it go i would have learnt something, maybe even made this a good thing, but i cant seem to... a whole world of opportunity will open up if i just forget about it, dun let it bother me anymore... but everytime i look into the mirror... everytime i look at myself... every night i go to sleep with the knowledge that i was an inch away from going blind, but i cant help asking "why did it happen to me?"... and when i think of myself, i realised that it couldnt be any worse than the millions of people out there with disabilities and really life changing accidents, but i cant help asking "why me?"... i still believe everything happens for a reason, and maybe this was thrust upon me for a reason... maybe i'm supposed to do something about it, let it go perhaps... maybe i'm supposed to change my life or even the lives of others around me... maybe i'm supposed to become a better person... i should really stop kidding myself and accept reality... the shot's been taken and now i'll just have to live with it... maybe i'm supposed to do something better with my life and this could be it... i just have to move on...

and that was really just about everything i was NOT about to say... i've totally lost the whole "time has flown by so quickly" topic... but seriously, this year is another one for the records (since when has any year not been?)... hai, the year is about to end and another chapter of the story will be written... i guess there's really nothing i can do except enjoy wat's left of the hols and hope for the best in the coming year (like i always do right?)... there might be more to 2007 than i think, and there's definitely alot more to experience in 2008, but truly, “only time will tell”... so much for the sad, emo part... maybe my new year's resolution should be "stay happy"... anyway, i'll end off with what couldnt be any more inappropriate for the mood of this post, the song “I've Got You” by McFly... if i'm not mistaken i heard it first on Just My Luck more than a year ago, and quite frankly it still sounds just as good (reminded me of how good a band McFly really is)... its a really nice upbeat song so i guess it will wipe away all the gloom here... i'll intro some more nice songs (to each his own) from jamiroquai next time, hopefully some jazzy beats... peace...