like moth to a flame, i'm charred to a crisp. you are my living flame. you are the goddess the kings and gods worship. just when i thought i could not be any less worthy of someone, you came strolling along into my life. there's something about you i just can't put my finger on. it's not your boundless knowledge of everything in existence. it's not your casual cool-ness in the way you carry yourself. it's definitely not how you stole my gaze the minute you walked in, and returning it only after you drift out like a careless breeze. you seem so carefree, yet inside you're calculated and controlled. the vast distance between who you are and who i want myself to be cannot be represented by any quantifiable variable. you are simply out of the question. it's very simple, yet extremely complicated at the same time. why do i keep going in over my head? what's worse, this time the hole i've dug for myself is even deeper than before, and i just can't stop digging. it's perverse, to the furthest, most obscure depths of it's definition. how can it be so wrong, when it feels so right?

i have to find a way to temper my obsession. i must learn to tame the emotions, before i let them get the better of my judgement. i need to find the calm and stillness from within, like sipping hot tea in the eye of the storm. the goal is very clear, and removing you from the picture is the only way to reach it. you will never understand how incredibly difficult it is for me to feel the way i feel, and act like it never crossed my mind. there is nothing you can't do, except convince me that everything will be fine. it will not, because you crossed my path, and it has since forever changed. the whole concept of you is amazing. you are everything no one could have imagined. there is just no reasonable or rational explaination for your existence, because heaven would have never allowed someone so perfect to be created. you are beyond perfect.

the road to redemption is a long one. it begins by not hiding my feelings, but learning to balance them. the matters of the heart to contend with the matter of the mind. the one who's good enough is the person i will never be. you have everything in the palm of your hands. you will not fuel my obsession anymore. i think i've fallen for you, so i know i have to let myself go. if it's not meant to be, it will never be. stop living inside my head, because the real world is cruel and painfully real. you leave me speechless. you are everything that defines everything i've ever dreamt of. you are surreal. you are a trickster, and you will be my daemon. you are a living flame, and i am burnt.

you're what i go to school for.