my head is in a thousand places, and my heart is in a million pieces. i don't believe in love anymore. everything from now is going to be a meaningless crush, nothing more than mere physical infatuation. i should have just stopped trying a long time ago, and save our innocent hearts. i can't feel anything anymore. i feel no happiness, no sadness, no heartbreak and no love. my dreams are long gone and my ambitions are crushed. i have no hope, no emotion, no dreams. i'm just an empty shell of a person that once believed. i'm cold and dead on the inside. no amount of words can describe the carcass of life that used to be. i'm just rotting away slowly.

i just can't feel. i can't bring myself to love anyone again. i thought i knew the meaning of love. the closest i ever came to love was a twisted relationship that never should have happened. but it happened nonetheless, and i was happy enough simply to feel. now, it's like i'm just going through the motions. waiting for each day to pass, only for another day to come and go while i wait. i'm just filling my days with meaningless activities. i don't even know why i'm doing what i'm doing anymore. i'm just lost, stuck. i can't even smile to my friends anymore because i just can't bring myself to do it. the jokes aren't even as funny anymore. i know the person i used to be is still somewhere in there, it's just going to take something or someone very special to bring it out now because i don't see that person coming back to life anytime soon. i lost the better part of me to all the hopes and dreams that never came true. all the times when fate fell short, when "love" fell short.

i know i stopped trying. i know i stopped feeling. i know i stopped living. maybe one day someone special will walk into my life and wake me from my slumber, teach me how to fall in love again. maybe that someone will give me new dreams to chase, and hopefully that someone will teach me how to live. until then, this life about love is not as much about life, as it is about love. for how does life proceed, without the presence of love?