i'm using every ounce of strength within me to fight the feeling, to hide the pain on the inside so that no one will ever know. i made a mistake by getting my heart involved, but i'm going to set things right. i'm not going to allow myself to willingly have my heart broken again, even if that means i have to live the rest of my life with the could-have-beens and the what-ifs.

you mean so much to me right now that i would do anything just not to lose you, because nothing else is worth it. because i'm not going to ruin everything i hold closest to my heart by making stupid mistakes. mistakes that i should never have to make again because of all the lessons i've had, but the same mistakes are going to be made because some people just never learn. i want to make the right decisions this time.

i'm going to look at you and pretend it doesn't kill me everytime. i'm going to fall asleep each night without thinking about you, because that's the only thing i do the rest of the day. i'm going to tell you that you're going to find a better man and lie, because all i see is myself with you, and i'm not any better.

nothing's going to change. i'm going to be there when you need me, and i'm still going to be there when you don't. living with the pain is the closest i'll ever get to living with you. it's the closest i'll ever get to living.