is it real or just another crush?

it's time to give up while i still can. no matter how i look at it, i'm not the one meant to be in that picture. it kills me everytime, but i have to admit the two of them look perfect together. i hit the ground really hard the other day, and i had no one to blame but myself. the higher you climb, the harder you fall. i just can't seem to get that picture out of my mind. i dunno what the hell i was doing, knowing that i never had a place from the beginning, yet still playing along the little fantasies in my head. why me? but i guess i need to refocus my goals for abit, at least for the next four weeks. i can't afford to let myself get caught up in my emotions right now. it was never mine for the taking. why do these feelings seem so real everytime, yet they're always wrong and taken apart in an instant? i know this sounds stupid, but i can't help falling over and over again. i really didn't mean to, never. if i had a choice i wouldn't. but it's really not about choosing or intentions. i guess the only thing left to do is to let it go. i know i have to. i know it's best to. i know i must. but am i able to?