It hurts. I’m not going to lie to you, it hurts.

I’m not going to curl up and die just because you left me that way. I want to be strong and fight this feeling. I want the world to stop spinning for just one moment so that I can breathe again, pick myself up and live.

I realized that there’s really no point getting pissed off. I brought all of this on to myself and maybe I can say I deserved it. Since I’m the one that made the mess, I’m the one to clean it up.

A little maturity calls.

You are in every position to feel the way you feel and do the things you do. Words like “I forced my feelings on to you even when you obviously weren’t sending the signals” and “I did everything so that I can get closer to you” might even be true. You have the whole world on your side.

You can do anything you please, because it can’t hurt any more than it does right now. Even if it did, I’m not sure how it’ll feel because I would be numb again.

I’m writing this not just to let you know how much shit I’m going through; it wouldn’t make me feel any better. Sympathy won’t make me feel any better either. I don’t know what would. I just don’t know where to turn to anymore.

Your life's plan has been laid out in front of you; get rich and successful, be happy and have someone that really loves you. It wouldn’t have made a difference if I was in the picture or not, you would still get there anyway.

But it has made a difference in my life and how I’m going to live it. It's just #2 in a long line of lessons. This usually calls for a much longer, much more emo post, but I just can’t bring myself (or anyone else for that matter) to do it.

It hurts. I’m not going to lie to you, it hurts.