Pretty Girl
by Jonathan Lim

Hey pretty girl, don't be mad,
someone out there would be so sad.
He made a bad move, and an even worse mistake,
and now, this lousy feeling he can't seem to shake.
You must know you mean alot to him,
for you are the reason he doesn't sink, but swims.

People make mistakes, they all do,
that's why in life we get a "chance number two".
Your past is not a place for the living,
my present is you; our future is worth waiting.
The wrongs we've done have taken us this far,
but it's the choices we make now, that truly determine who we are.

So my pretty girl, please don't fret,
I know it's never easy to forget.
Whenever you want to run away from it all,
know that someone will always be there to catch your fall.
Whether I'll be, or someone better than me,
just remember: you deserve to be happy.

for you, i'm sorrie :(

some people are just so lucky... they just dunno how lucky they are to have someone who will wait for them, who will always be there no matter what... on your good days and bad days, who will be there to put a smile on your face when your feeling down, and to share your joy and laughter... it may all sound so cliche but it's something i think i'm willing to sacrifice alot for... to have the feeling of being needed, wanted... we all think that we are capable of being noble in the name of love, but sometimes it just becomes so difficult when you feel so alone... i've never believed in someone who is able to keep giving and ask for nothing in return, at least not anyone human... you can keep caring for someone, keep giving them love and attention, only if you get some in return, something that gives you the strength to carry on... just something that gives you the motivation to keep trying, just so that you wont give up... and its all the small things that really matter... its not about the big presents or the outward display of love, but sometimes all it takes is a smile, one that really shows how much you appreciate the other person... you cant show what you dun feel, its in your body language and the look of your eyes... some people are just so lucky, they just dunno how lucky they are...

can you really love someone if your heart is not there? her heart is somewhere else right now, and it really pains me to know that, maybe i'm not really the one... when all along i've been painting this pretty picture of flowers and meadows in my head... why can't we all have fairytale endings? or are fairytale endings too perfect for the real world, and should only be kept for, fairytales? i've nvr wanted to admit this for fear that it might actually come true (if it hasn't already), i will just nvr be good enuff for her... no matter what i do, no matter how hard i try, i just wont be good enuff for her... if you could only see how much i care... thats one thing about being able to feel again, you feel hurt... at least the pain lets you know that your alive... you might not be perfect, but your as close to it as anyone can get... i dun really want the world to see me, i just dun want to be invisible to you... why does it have to be so complicated... you deserve so much better, really... maybe this one time, the one thing i have to sacrifice, will be the one thing that i can't let go...

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be, and I don't want to go home right now.

wow, this place is dead... well, maybe its not such a bad thing... at least i can still use this place for wat it was created for, right? anyway, JC life has been a blast... these past 2 months just blew by like nothing, and there's just so many things taking up my time, i dunno where it starts and where it ends... i thought i'd keep my objectives for JC simple: study hard, make friends and bball... but as we all know it, life is nvr simple... i always thought nothing was going to spark me, but it appears something has... at first i thought it was just another pretty face, but if it was just another pretty face, then why the feelings now? and its just so difficult, i just dun feel good enuff and i'm way out of my league... why do i always have to fall for the highest ones? why can't i just settle for someone normal, but special all the same? but ever since i've been sparked, i feel alive again... its like i'm slowly regaining my feelings from that numbed state... its like i have a reason to live, something to fight for... it shows, in the way that i'm playing better basketball and the motivation to study harder? and on top of all that, it just somehow gave me my confidence back after that horrific incident... but izznt it so scary to build everything on that one thing, just to have it all taken away again?

i was so unsure of my feelings i thought i was going to let go, but in the end i'd go for it all, cuz you never know which dreams would make you complete... haha, but life always has its way of screwing with you... maybe its all too soon, maybe its just not meant to be... who knows what will happen in the future? all i can do now is wait... everything is just so uncertain, but i guess what they say is true: "If you truly love someone, you would want the best for that person, even if the best isn't you." i'm really not giving up yet, it just hurts really bad... i'll just live in hope cuz i really dun want to face the truth... but when that time comes, and i have nowhere else to run, i'll just have to take pride in the fact that i never gave up, not this time... its just not my turn, not yet...

If there's somebody calling me on, she's the one.