wow... thats all i could say after watching The Lake House... call me old fashioned or wat, but you love some, you hate some... dunno why the show struck me as so amazing... i mean the 1st impression you get is that its some cheesy old stereotypical love story with a much too beautiful fairytale ending... it probably is, if your not a die-hard romantic i guess... well, i totally loved the reunion of sandra bullock and keanu reeves... can still remember them from their Speed days (how many years ago was that?)... and of course the whole element surrounding the story is time travel, how you could somehow communicate with the past, and in more ways than one, change it... i've not been hit so hard by a love movie like this in a very long time... the whole idea was about love transcending time, that love is bigger than the impossible, and somehow i just really enjoyed that... the show had so many hidden meanings throughout, like using the lake house as a sort of symbolism, how you could look out at all the glory surrounding the house, but could nvr really touch it... how as an architect (keanu reeves' character), you had the power and the responsibility to build something that stood the test of time... and how love is just so, powerful... the show just captured me right from start to finish... the only flaw, i thought, was the aspect of time travel... but of course, if it were in anyway even close to logical, we would have been able to do it by now... and since no movie (the closest thing to reality) could accurately portray time travel, i guess this movie was no different (besides, i'm being way too picky on detail, wat we wanna see is a love story)... i need to defend myself by saying that i'm not being nostalgic (to be honest, i'm a little), but it was more of the future, hope... i guess i was so attracted to the movie because i wanted to believe that love was beautiful again (sandra bullock and keanu reeves really made it alot easier)... the idea wasn't exactly fresh, but the experience was... i do no justice to the show just by talking about it, but its definitely one for the skeptical romantics... it might just turn your whole world around...

The Lake House was the 2nd movie i watched 2day... caught an afternoon show with some 4A peps at cine, called Balls Of Fury... its damn funny, if ur into lame humor (which i sadly, am)... it was juz totally random and was made just to make you laugh... b4 that i met up with yande and before that, i ran into darryl who was on the same train as me to orchard... so i met him at the station, and he told me about something... and i just had to think, that singapore is way too small to hold a grudge... cuz really, if you think about it, every few steps or so, you're probably gonna run into someone you know, and if ur lucky (or not) ur probably gonna run into someone you dun wanna see... well, after having lunch i ran into 2 other guys (seperately) from RI that shared the same radio DJ course as me, right after darryl left (who coincidentally took the dj course with me as well)... and right b4 the movie i saw my ex-classmate from pri skul who was with i presume to be his girlfriend (from RGS, saw them after the show again)... wat i'm trying to say is, that singapore is way too small, and coincidences happen only if you make them happen, otherwise they'll juz be incidences...

so anyway, there's was surprisingly alot of people out 2day despite it being a weekday and all... i guess its cuz everyone ended their papers already... and then i think of mine... well, i never really thought i would blog about it but here goes nothing... it sucks... the feeling that you could have done more, but didnt... the feeling that you could have changed something, but couldnt... the feeling that you don't have to feel like this now, but you chose to act (or not to) in a way that resulted in this load of crap... i feel like slapping myself everytime i say i wanna do something, but never got about doing it... i just have not felt good since my papers ended on wed... i just have this confused feeling inside me... i should be partying and part of me wants to; at the same time i feel so damn guilty i could just drop dead, once again part of me wants to... i ask myself how did i get so damn messed up? but the question i should be asking is wat am i going to do about it? lets look at raw reality: eng was ok because i didnt have to prepare 4 it and the results cant judge me, ss was also ok but thats juz subjective... maths was a total disaster, i studied so hard for this maths test and now i'm gonna have to face a failing grade... chem, geog and bio were all shaky, barely studied 4 it and i'm on the line between fail and pass... which is which, i have no clue... then came physics, which was a real slap in the face (and physics really knows how to slap you)... massacre like no other... that basically sums up the past week or so... i know wat i'm feeling right now is regret, but that regret is mixed with indifference... which is why the taste is so bland, yet so bitter... where has the old me gone to? have i no drive and remorse? do i not want to change? i go out and have fun, and for those few brief moments, i feel good... but when i return home, to reality, i get that hungover feeling... i just feel so miserable... there's just someway i have to pay this back, and then i think of all the stuff i want to do... frisbee, soccer, gym, basketball, pool to name a few... its juz all going to be gone... i feel so tangled up inside, even trying to straighten it out now izznt helping... i really dunno how to change anymore... i'm almost on the verge of giving up... giving up trying to change, to be better, to be like how i used to... i'm just so tired of trying to be want i want to be, i just dun want to be who i want to be anymore... the world can kick me and punch me and pull my hair... they can tell me i'm a big fat baby and i should stop whining and be a man... but i'm just so tired... worst of all, its all because of me... the me who wanted to be better but didnt because he was just to damn ill-disciplined to walk the talk... so much 4 being a better man aint it...

hai, i'm really not going to enjoy this... there's still 3 weeks to chinese O's and i feel so much like shit i dun even feel like studying... i wish i could find the give up button in me and give it a big fat push... but the world izznt over, is it? argh, i dunno wat i'm talking about anymore... i'm really not going to enjoy this... the hols are coming soon and its time 4 a break but i'm not going to enjoy it... because i know i cant... i got to do watever it takes to make this shit sink in... b4 i go, can someone please tell me: "What makes a man, a man?"