and so the story goes, friday the 13th... not juz any friday the 13th, a 2nd one in the same year... and as all friday the 13th goes, this one lived up to its expections... first thing in the morning, had to be screwed over by OWL cuz of some dumb youth day appeal... it wasnt so much as losing the envelop, as it was not collecting the money, but it was more of the feeling of screwing up, again... i mean i havent been taking this thing very seriously, and i've been playing around in her class recently, so i'd bet she think i'm a bloody joker who izznt responsible... i know she has 2nd thoughts about me being monitor and all that kinda shit... i guess it was partly my fault cuz i was seriously playing a fool in her lesson and giving all kinds of nonsense that really doesnt make any sense, i havent been the best monitor as well so that kinda sums up the shit i'm in... but its like she has a problems against me like that, when you see her talking to zhihe or mark you dun get that kinda response from her... maybe she likes them better, watever... do i have responsibility issues? it seems that this problem has been popping up quite abit and i'm really starting to wonder if i wanna carry on this way... i'm giving all kinds of people the wrong impression of me... maybe i should wake up and do something right 4 a change... i should start off by taking this post seriously, and not talking nonsense in her class anymore... i'll juz frickin stone...

anyway, that wasnt the end of it... after that during pe, had this PMS dude take us 4 pe... seriously, he has PMS issues, big time... one moment he can be damn nice and he can go bonkers the next... its so much worse than CYH, cuz at least you know when CYH's gonna PMS but this guy you dun, plus hes a guy... moving on, played soccer halfway, he come dulan us ask us go keep judo mats, like its our friggin business... help him keep still not enuff must be so damn meticulous... anyway after soccer, saw darryl and found out his basketball got confiscated by the same f*****, which was inadvertedly caused by ivan... so i met ivan and realised that the bastard was being damn unreasonable, and ivan was pissed off oso... so now the whole world is damn pissed off... seriously this friday the 13th thing is gettin to me... so after that tried to help ivan and all, hope things can work out... after that maths was kinda normal... then we had physics, spent most of the lesson playing with sticks pretending to be harry potter... i think i'm going crazy... anyway, it was one of the most enlightening physics lessons i've had... i realised that HYT is a damn nice person and a really good one-on-one teacher... she will really teach until you understand... the only problem with her is that she cant control the class and she cant teach more than 4 people at a time, much less 32... anyway the 5 mins after lesson with her 2day gave me new hope 4 physics, and actually made me believe that i can make it work out if i gave it a try... at least she gives you some proper attention not like a few teachers i know... i might actually go look 4 her on thurs afternoons to teach me physics, at least to get through this year, then we'll see...

so after skul stoned around til darryl came and went gym, spent quite abit in there although i was looking for soccer... i realised i'm gaining weight like crazy... i seem to be gaining one kg every week... its really starting to scare me, i try to tell myself its muscle mass but its was too unreal... i think maybe cuz i've stopped growing and my body doesnt need all that extra nurients so it juz stores it as fats... and i'm not burning faster than i consume, in fact i consume faster than i burn, so i guess thats the reason why... 4 some weird reason i've been eating like a mad cow these few days, and all that food is going somewhere in me... thats the other problem, i'm 77kg but i cant see the fats... i dun see myself exploding or anything but i weigh like a minicar... anyway i think i really nidda start cutting down on my food intake and start doing some serious cardio to burn those extra kgs, in the meanwhile i wanna try to create my own gym routine to maximise my workout... now that the gym is practically available everyday, i can use it to my full advantage... hope i can take some tips from other people's routines and come up with a simple 1 of my own... anyway after gym went to play bball, which made me realize that gym screws up ur shooting... so played awhile randomly and had a little scrimmage with the sec3s, realise i'm damn out of touch and their still so much in shape... makes me believe even more that i'm degenerating, which is scary... after that was beat and went home alone...

so i've been listening to eminem's album (courtesy of yande, started listening yesterday) The Marshall Mathers LP... it was one of his earlier albums and i daresay his best... almost all of his songs in the album can own any other rappers tracks... i now know why they say hes is such a controversial rapper and why he somehow promotes violence and all that kinda perverted stuff... hes almost crazy, but the things is, i dig it... his songs juz seem to strike a cord in me, and throughout the whole of 2day i've been feeling his angst and agression, and it was somehow juz brought out in me... his emotions juz exploded in the songs and how he juz let the words take over... he was really violent and sick and vulgar in this album almost to a point where even i cant take it... but it was juz so good... there's something bout him that clicks with me on the inside, not to mention his amazing raps and rhymes... anyway, its really good but this album is not for the faint of heart... this is juz such a screwed up week, and juz as i was about 2 believe that skul was actually going to be ok... life juz wouldnt let me off, it juz wont me let go, would it? i have some dumbshit talk on course combi 2morrow which means another early morning... now i'm feeling so pissed off at the world, how ironic is it when i juz told tat wai to chill out and not stress juz yesterday? i'm not depressed, i'm juz pissed off, at what i do not know... sometimes i scare myself with my thoughts, if only i had the power to make them come true... once again i'm writing nuts long essay... i dunno how to stop this madness... maybe i should juz not write at all... for once, i'll wont end off with peace, maybe a little destruction and insanity would do the world some good, if it hasnt already...