3 months... i cant believe it, its 3 more months... 3 months will fly by like nothing compared to the 4 years i've watched sail right b4 my eyes... i've been telling everyone that i cant wait to get out of RI, but somehow when i sit down and think, i'm really gonna miss it here... yeah, there were rough times, and there were good times as well... RJ is gonna be so intense, i'll probably not even have the time to enjoy wat i have now... this is the time where i live, enjoy being a kid, and everything else that comes with it... i dunno how i can love and hate a place so much all at the same time... it scares me, 10 years from now where will i be? wat will i remember, treasure? wat will i think of RI, my friends or even myself now? if i could choose the memories i wanna keep 4ever, i'd really have no clue which ones i'll choose... will it be bball? or 2C '05? or the teachers that made my life living hell? it really juz feels like yesterday i was in sec one, i could still remember where i sat, who i was with and wat i did on my first day... scary huh? everything else in between seemed to go by in a blurr, could only pick up bits and pieces of a broken, faded memory... i wish somehow i could go back and look at each and every memory, to know exactly wat i was thinking or how i was feeling, and i juz wanna rejoice in good times and regret in bad... but i know that every single thing happened and made me who i am right now... yeah, i know i would give anything to go back and change some of these moments, but i probably wouldnt, cuz thats life izznt it?

i really dunno wat i'm going to take away from this place... its definitely not going to be grades, and i doubt its going to be a memory of a teacher, at least not anymore... and then i think of my friends, who's going to be there in the end? who's gonna walk down this road with me, who's gonna be there 10 years from now? will we drift apart, and go our separate ways? i fear that, but i know it will happen... and somehow i feel afraid, scared, alone... are we so confined to human nature and the bare facts that even we, emotional beings, can't escape loneliness and solitude? izzit really us? but sometimes i wanna think of hope, of opportunity, of faith... maybe i'll still be taking to the same people 10 years down the road and we'd be laughing at ourselves when we look back at how childish and immature we were, how we heck care the world and live by our own rules, and how we stuck it through... maybe leaving this place is not so bad, there could be a nicer world out there... i guess this is part of growing up... we move on, we change our environments constantly, and we adapt... i really dunno why i'm doing this, or even feeling this way now... maybe its cuz i was juz reading kenneth's blog and wat he said really made sense... i have 3 more months to shape and change the memories i wanna keep with me 4 the rest of my life... no1 in the world can take away these 4 years and wat they have brought with them, every single day is not 4gotten, but cherished and given hope, that the next will be better... we're gonna have fun, and we're gonna go out with a bang... right now, grades dun seem to matter that much any more, when you see that there's still so much out there waiting for you to experience, and to remember... when the time comes, i'll leave with pride, honour and respect for the insitution that shaped a part of my life i can nvr 4get... until then, i've got 3 months to do wat i've not yet accomplish: to experience... to live life, like every breathe was meant to be taken... and when the time comes, i hope i'll be ready to leave, cuz i know it going to take alot more than juz moving on to pull me away from my memories, and from the place i want so desperately to 4get, but yet so dearly holding on... until then, i have 3 more months...