for the first time in a long time, i feel relaxed... these past few days i've been really wound up, feeling i could snap any moment... hit a rather rough patch and i juz went (i daresay) into depression... all i could do was eat and sleep... and the worst part is that food taste like shit and sleep wasnt any better... i didnt do any work at all 4 the past week (it took me 4 bloody days 2 complete one stupid zuowen)... and somehow i found something from somewhere that set me free...

i realised the only way for one 2 be happy is 2 let go... let go of all the troubles, let go of all the problems and most importantly let go of all the hatred inside... i found out that i've been harbouring alot of unneccessary hatred inside me... it juz kept adding 2 my stress and everything... it made me a messed up person (if i'm not already so)... so i've decided to let go, of juz about everything i can, for now... i didnt wanna hate someone i didnt know anymore... i didnt wanna pretend 2 put myself against someone i really didnt need to... i didnt wanna be unhappy anymore... if all of that had 2 come down 2 one thing, when i really had a reason 2 take all that hatred out somewhere, that time would come and then the feelings would have a purpose, a reason... not now... and sometimes its juz easier that way... all the things thats been bugging me i juz let go... i really told myself and said it out loud that i'm going 2 let go... think it all started off when i was flipping through the past yearbooks... something inside me juz clicked as i was looking back at all the memories, all the faces... there's something on the faces of people in photographs that gives you an eerie feeling, in a good sense... like they know something better is coming their way, maybe they dont but thats juz wat i see from their faces... maybe its juz a collection of memories, of better days and maybe i'm juz so desperate 4 them 2 come back... and juz like that, i've let go...

felt much better after that... its juz the mentality that changed, and suddenly things seems better... even the sucky stuff like all the money i owe and the chinese oral i have 2morrow doesnt really matter anymore... so 2day after skul supposed 2 play soccer but i felt sick so i decided 2 give it a skip... went down 2 amk hub with darryl cuz he wanted 2 fix his PSP, then met up with ivan and let him convince me 2 go all the way down 2 borders juz 2 eat sushi... haha, was really reluctant but went down anyway... really pigged out man... was a buffet so i started chionging, by the 7th plate i was dying already (we had 2 eat 7 plates 2 make it worth it)... so after that was juz luxurious pigging... lol... in the end hammered 12 plates of sushi (both darryl and ivan beat me! haha!)... so there pretty much goes my afternoon... felt like shit after that cuz i was so friggin full (nvr knew sushi can make you so full)... felt damn sleepy after that and walked around 4 abit b4 stoning with ivan all the way back... 2morrow is the last day of week 9! only looking 4ward to soccer during pe and probably after skul or something... gymming is still on my mind... good that i kinda got high jump outta the way but vincent quek is damn EB lah (emotional blackmail), i wanted 2 quit but the way he say until in the end i said yes... so pathetic... hai, juz gotta survive til term3week4... ok enuff of the randomness... i swear this has gotta be the quickest post in terms of word-to-time ratio... ending off with a picture from lunch/dinner... peace...