another week of hell juz ended, i'm juz thankful it ended alot better than it started... was feeling pretty crappy the whole week, guess it was the work and the stress and all... didnt feel too good about the maths and the bio CCTs that we had this week... on top of that there was of course the pressure from moor side cuz the house carn, juz didnt help the situation at all... had no mood 2 do anything during the course of the week, and everything juz felt like shit all the way up til fri... so we had the house carn on fri, and i must say i've nvr been as involved in any particular house carn as this one... once the day ended, i went down 2 the table tennis area 2 settle the admin stuff, but in the end yande was the one helping me do everything... felt quite bad leaving him there like that, gotta make it up 2 him somehow... so anyway, after settling the table tennis side, went down 2 the bball courts 2 watch a few games... realized i'm so outta touch with bball, and somehow i juz felt more at home on the courts, doing wat i do best... once the house carn got underway i juz started roaming all over the place, checking out the different sports... even had time 2 drop by the swimming pool, where i ran into some i did NOT wanna see, but wat i was surprised to see was that "target 2" was the announcer or something while "target 2.5" was the award stewardess (target 2.5 not accepted by everyone so i juz had 2 give her a 0.5 rather than a full 3, lol)... ya so i was juz wondering around the whole afternoon and somehow i got dragged to ref the last game of the day (bball), was quite a blast really... ended the day with some bball (in a long time) and dinner with the guys...

well yesterday was actually much better than fri... i made up my mind to pon ORA, and i did... dun really care wat the consequences are... so i sent my mum off 2 the airport yesterday morning and had breakfast there... came home and chilled awhile til afternoon when my sis and i went 2 my grandparents place 2 play some PS2... havent touched a controller in the longest time man, lol... so played til evening b4 rushing off 2 meet ivan, darryl and christian at orchard... supposed 2 have more people but they didnt show at darryl's place, anyway i'd much rather have it that way... so we went 2 cuppage (of all places) 2 eat some ramen... 1stly, ivan the joker made us walk from orchard 2 sommerset when he knew full well that cuppage was in sommerset, and 2ndly, of all the times i've been 2 cuppage 2 play pool, i've NEVER seen that stall b4... anyway it was a good meal, even though we had 2 wait 4 like 30 mins juz 2 get seated... so after a full dinner, took a train down 2 city hall where we were supposed 2 go bowling at marina square, but as my dad predicted, it was bloody packed... in the end we walked down 2 esplanade and then to clarke quay... it was a really pleasant and some wat relaxing experience (wat's better than seeing one lambhogini? 2! one outside the oriental and one outside the fullerton), had i not been restricted 4 time... walked along the river and it was actually quite cool, got 2 see alot of stuff i'd probably nvr get 2 see... ivan was like our tour guide lah, dunno where he gets all these kinda stuff... so walked all the way down 2 the "big alien tent thingy" with coffee bean along the way and finally rocked myself home on the packed train with christian... if time had only ticked a little faster...

during house carn and the walk last night i was thinking alot... at the house carn, i was thinking about the foolish dream i was chasing right now... somehow it juz occurred 2 me how stupid and childish all this stuff is, cuz its something i'm pretending 2 want, but something i'll nvr have... i dunno, maybe i'm juz not the right person, in all senses of the word... i juz felt like i was the wrong person, for all the wrong things and this is all juz fools play... cuz all this would be a distant memory we all would laugh about... its nvr nice 2 be rejected, but i guess its alright 2 have some sense knocked into you... maybe its ok 2 admire from afar, but i think its time 2 give up chasing dream so believable, yet so unattainable... then there was the river, had so much 2 think about, and walking past the fullerton gave me memories i nvr had... but somehow all the feelings inside were blocked out, cuz i juz couldnt feel it... the whole place was packed with people, i wont say wat type of people but there was juz alot of people... i thought the place was supposed 2 be a quite and nice place 2 sit down and have a meaningful conversation, with the lights and good food all around... and maybe i thought wrong... it juz wasnt the place 2 enjoy a nice memory or two, i should've known that... the river bay was littered with couples and sorts... maybe there's some other place for quiet memories and reminiscing... but nonetheless the whole experience was refreshing and really quite relaxing...

and so another week ends... i'm juz so into the holiday mood right now and i'm kinda looking 4ward to my birthday! haha... juz another couple weeks 2 survive and maybe... juz maybe, i could have a little time away... peace...