something kinda pissed me off 2day, so juz lemme complain abit... we (bball team) were given the news that there was a nike basketball league 4 skuls that did not make it 2 the nationals, and we were asked if we want 2 participate... so the team went on into a super big debate on whether or not 2 join the league and stuff, with all the other nonsense in between... came 2 a decision that we were gonna join the league... i wasnt ticked off because we chose 2 join the thing, it was more of the sudden-ness and how close it was to the post-season drama... i mean after the season i'm sure everyone had reidentified their priorities and their goals 4 this year at least, and i'm pretty sure bball izznt one of them... its tough 4 me 2 end the season this way, tears and disappointment can only do so much... but there comes a time when we have 2 let go and move on... i'm not saying it's any easier 4 me than 4 anyone else, but i think there's some serious planning and prioritizing 2 be done... i've set my mind that i wanna do good in the books, since now i dun have my season 2 aim 4, and also i wanna work hard in the gym 2 come back stronger (literally) 4 next year... see, these are the plans i made 4 myself, and i wont deny that i have only my interest at heart... now, out of nowhere you throw in a bball league coming so close 2 "post-season" which will span 4 easily about another month...

frankly, when i got the news i was kinda fed up... when the season ended, i nvr really got down 2 confronting reality, facing the truth and all that kinda nonsense... say wat you like about running away from reality or wat sorts, but it was in a sense a relief that it all ended... so i moved on, gave my mind a break 4 bball 4 abit, cuz when bball comes back i know the feeling will be stronger, the hunger will be back... decided to dedicate my time to other stuff, like moor, studying, gym etc. not that i'm exactly flying high on grades, which is even more so that i spend some serious time on my work... there was this big debate about the post-season rest... for one, i really dun think the rest is so much the physical rest, but more of the mental break from bball... well at least 4 me, i know the last thing i've had since the season ended was a good rest, in every sense of the word... cuz i've spent so much of my time doing other stuff that called for on top of the list after season... i think its juz the feeling of bball again... bball is juz bball, how far do you wanna take it? one thing i dun like about this is the sudden-ness... i daresay i stick tight as hell 2 my plans, but when i make them i expect myself 2 execute them, and this 4 one is definitely not part of the plan... i'm not saying that i wouldnt join this damn league if its the last thing i do, but i'm juz not into it... i know its not being really fair 2 the others who wanna do it, and i know i'm sounding very selfish right now but i really cant help it...

yeah its the last chance we can all play 2gether and stuff, we wont get that chance at youth cup and a hundred other excuses, but at that moment i juz really couldnt be bothered... ok so after this league we're smooth sailing til A' div, which means we'd definitely be missing youth cup, but wat makes you think nothing will pop up along the way? lets get this over and done with, fine... i juz need someone to tell me why i'm doing this, and it'd take some really good convincing... ya, gimme time and i'll see all the positives about this thing, but someone care to gimme the time 2 do wat i want 2? ok, we're in it now so wats the point in complaining right? but wat if we dun go in whole-heartedly, with one mind, then now where is the value in that? wat if it turns out worse than we want it 2 be? i'm not one 4 the constant complains or juz running off my mouth, but there's a time when you gotta let things be heard... i juz dunno how to convince my parents that this is going 2 be a good idea, if i cant even convince myself... not an easy task coming off a failed maths test... this like the most self-centered thing i can say, and i'll probably live 2 regret it, but i juz wanna do something 4 myself, is that so much 2 ask 4? no lame excuses or lies, juz this... i juz dunno how i'm gonna bring myself to do it... i'm gonna get so much shit 4 everything i've written here but i gotta get it out somewhere... watever it is, all is said and done so might as well make the most of it... i'm really sorrie guys, forgive me... we'll juz see how everything turns out, one step at a time... i'm out...

Cause the day i thought i'd never get through,
I got over you.