1st of all, we played pierce yesterday and won by 87-33... although we had a jittery start (i had jittery moments myself), i felt it was a really good game... felt really shiok after the game, not because we trashed the other team or humiliated them, its cuz i really felt we played as a team and really fought for one another... played good defence, fought hard and gave our all... this is the kinda feeling i wanna have, the kinda feeling that i wanna have whenever i play, for every game this season... a special mention 2 danny, cuz i felt really inspired by him when i saw him put his body on the line to go 4 every loose ball, every hustle play... really saw and felt the fight in him, kinda brought out the fight in me 2... gave me strength and confidence, and that was truly the i-will-die-fighting-for-you feeling... one kind of good feeling, damn i hope there's more 2 come... onto the not so good, i tightened my braces last night and damn it hurt like hell! when my dentist tied some shit on my teeth i could've swore i nearly died, like my brain was being pulled out through my mouth... and it still friggin hurts, the wire is damn bloody thick lah... this is so much worse than the 1st time, with even more hell 2 come... please, can we juz flip 2 years on my calender so i can take this shit off!!!

so moving on, 2day was one hell of a day (on the good side), so started off with class interaction when i realised that if there was no flag-raising on that day (which so happens 2 be 2day!), the class CEC had 2 lead the pledge in the classroom... when i got the news i kena stunned, like wth i dun even think i can recite the pledge at will lah (normally juz words coming out of my mouth blindly, no pun intended)... i was saved by tan chio yen (ironically) so i didnt have 2 lead, but have 2 sooner or later? so after that had pe, where we played under SR block cuz it rained and we couldnt do tennis... so we played this ultimate frisbee/captain's ball kinda game (ultimate frisbee rules with ball), but it had a twist, we played with 2 balls! i tell you it was hell fun... have 2 attack and defend at the same time, it really tests teamwork and strategy... a great game 4 big groups, must try it out sometime... so after a great pe lesson there was geog, nothing much 2 say really cuz there really wasnt much that we did, cept adding 2 my workload... so during recess i had 2 take my maths TA and i screwed it up bad... my first maths TA and i fucked it, and its on matrices which was supposed 2 be like the easiest topic we'll ever do this year... damn, 1st it was chem OBA and now maths, really not working out 2 the 3.6 goal i have in mind... not going 2 take anything lightly now (slept at 8 on the night b4 chem and didnt bother 2 mug maths cuz i thought it was easy, WRONG!)...

after recess had chem, which was another waste of time... i really dunno wat the frickin hell the chem dude is doing... we spent 1 whole hour juz do 2 1 miserable worksheet that consists of 8 MCQ questions? i think learning from yizhen is so much more effective cuz he is a nice guy and he can own the teacher unintentionally, even if he doesnt want to... so came maths which was pretty ok surprisingly, and it flew by like nothing... frankly i cant even remember wat we did during maths, maybe cuz i was stonning and i could tell that probably half the class was stonning along with me... at least i know yande was stonning oso, lol... after skul went 2 waste more time at some CEC meeting, where i was conviently sabo-ed by leonard lee to become some CEC committee for sec4s... he kena in the end oso but i kinda dragged kasong with me, haha... am i biting off more than i can chew? 1st it was juz moor ex-co, then monitor and now level CEC comm? find strength from somewhere, somehow or someone... hmmmm... well, after that was caught between going with az 2 watch the RGS game along with danny and kevin boo, and playing bball with darry and ivan... chose the latter eventually despite the 2 jokers happily disappearing after i was frantically looking 4 them... really felt damn bad 4 dao-ing az and i felt like he's like kinda angry or something... well, there's always a next time 2 make it up...

so played bball with darryl and ivan in RJ, then later yijun and zf came, and even hongxiu at one point... so we were juz playing around, having quite abit of fun actually, til some volleyball dudes and dudettes came along... they were like using the middle of the court 2 train and we were constantly attacked by volleyballs... so we were nice enuff 2 keep quiet and return the balls 2 them... we were nice enuff til they started 2 kbkp 4 no good reason... the other guys were contemplating pumping the ball somewhere in the opposite direction, but i wasnt that mean... until some bitchy nonsense girl asked me not 2 roll the ball into the courts after i kindly returned their strayed ball... i got damn bloody pissed off, i was like "next time we get the ball, put it into the atmosphere!"... they still have the cheek 2 ask us not 2 play in the bball courts, i'm like if we dun play bball on the bball courts then play where, in the swimming pool ah? bastards all (and biatches)... after that their balls were all over the place, hope every last one of them burst... played 4 a good 2 hours (with many interruptions), then went off 2 do pt... pt was slack, cuz of almighty rain... did some runs and stuff, plus finishers... after pt played bridge with zf, teo hong and siyuan... played 4 like 45 mins, had loads of fun... hadnt played bridge in 4ever, and won quite a few times oso, muahahaha...

after making danny, simon and kevin boo wait 4 us, took a lift from daniel down 2 j8 2 meet them... had cup noodles after i realised i hadnt eaten since recess (which didnt really count as a meal cuz of my braces) and i was damn bloody hungry... so talked abit and went home... from a day that i wish i hadnt stayed back and waste my time, to a day that i wish would nvr end... somehow i always get that feeling on fridays eh? lol... so i've decided that i would NOT touch any work 2night cuz i believe i deserve a good chilling out (or maybe i'm juz 2 damn lazy 2 do anything except slack), even though i have class contact list, moor house T&F compilation, maths pt, geog research and physics/bio quizzes awaiting my doing... so that effectively leaves only sunday cuz 2morrow is burned by tuition in the morning and buffet lunch/dad & sis b'day celebrations and some chinatown thingy... gonna be missing training but i hope i dun miss 2 much... big one on tues, newtown... hai, take it as it comes lah... i think i've written my 2nd longest post ever lah, and i think i should really stop b4 i kill myself or others... so b4 i end, juz wanna say that i think its really quite sad that some of the guys are thinking of quiting bball... i'm being the world's biggest hypocritical bastard when i say this but i think its really sad that some guys wanna go... i'm also considering moving on, but i nvr really expected some of the others 2 think about it 2... it juz hit me, that maybe i really dun wanna leave afterall, because i know i simply cant do it... i juz cant leave the people i've given my blood, sweat and tears to, for 4 long and hard years... maybe i'm being a wimp or maybe i'm gay (which i am not), but i think it's juz not possible... well, so much 4 a hypocritical bastard, and so much 4 this post... nothing is done, until it's done... and this is, well and truly, done... peace...

is this how we say goodbye?

P.S.
correction, it IS the longest post... 1449 and counting...

ok, so i'll do a post 2day cuz i'm home in record time (wanted 2 blog yesterday but was rather distracted)... its 2 days into the new week and already so much has happened... i cut my hair on sunday, and by "cut" i mean shave... so yesterday i had 2 entertain comments like "You look like the Prison Break guy!"... i was thinking i look more like i juz broke out of prison, but i'll juz take it as a compliment anyway... my hair is really semi-botak now so i'll have 2 wait at least another 2 months b4 i can do anything 2 it... moving on, i found out that i got the post of Monitor this morning, and i must say that i'm truly shocked... i nvr expected i'd actually become monitor but now that i have the opportunity, gotta make full use of it and make this last year a good one... feels really weird 2 be in a position where i can actually make a difference, with that being said i juz gotta adapt and make it good i guess... hope i'll be able 2 get the support of the rest of the guys, dun wanna let them down... now that i'm the monitor i think i'll really appreciate all the times when other people had 2 take the crap 4 me, when someone had 2 step up and step out, to lead...

well, i think the first thing thats gotta change is my opinion of CYH... cuz seriously with her being FT2 and me really wishing she'd juz drop dead, its going 2 be a really long year... i really dun have a problem with any teacher cept CYH, chem and geog... chem dude is one of a kind, i really dunno why i dun like him... he looks weak, and to me he really cant teach, so there goes my year for chem... to me teacher's make the world of a difference when it comes to a student's performance... of course we have 2 earn it ourselves but our teachers play a significant role in deciding whether we get it the easy way, or the hard way... geog is another one, she juz keeps repeating the same thing over and over again (if it were something useful then nvm), and she seems 2 be gettin no where... it's one thing 2 nag, but it's a totally DIFFERENT thing to harp on the same points for 3 weeks in a row... i nvr bother listening 2 geog anymore cuz whenever i do listen, i juz hear the same thing... someone shoot me, or shoot them, works the same... and it juz so happens 2 be the subjects i really wanna focus on this year (chem, bio & geog 4 JC, i'd prefer not 2 waste time on the bio teacher)... so anyway, back 2 CYH, i really gotta start changing my mindset, and 4 a start I WILL ADMIT, that she has improved quite abit since last year and hasnt pms-ed to date... not as bitchy anymore and not as suan or qianbian... well, there's always room 4 improvement and i hope i'm not speaking 2 soon... dun wanna be forced 2 eat my words later...

ok away from the serious stuff, had a game 2day against beatty... think we played alot better and had an overall improvement in the team mindset... our real test will be coming up against newtown so we gotta get ready... and coach has been really nice by keeping the trainings short and not hardcore so people like me will have time 2 waste by blogging... haha... it juz somehow feels weird cuz we're really relaxed right now and 4 the past 3 years i've nvr had a time like this... good or bad? guess juz gotta stay fresh and stay on par with my work... really not used 2 having so much time, esp during season... not much else 2 say, i really must start doing my work seriously and catch up on some revision... gonna be another day, and one whole academic year, to do something, make a difference and leave my mark... with class CEC, moor and bball, i hope 2 achieve juz that... and thanks guys, really appreciate ur faith and chance, means alot 2 me... peace all...

Rain Again
by Jonathan Lim

I walk in the rain to wash my soul,
wishing I had more than memories to hold.
Crying as the rain falls with every drop,
praying for the love to make this hurt stop.

Standing on the sidewalk soaking through,
hoping the one I see is you.
I'd give anything to turn the tide,
to have you here back by my side.

Time after time you're the one I miss,
my heart has more to say than this.
Let love lose me once more,
still wish I had your number to call.

Every drop falls harder on me,
it never seemed quite meant to be.
In my dreams I still see your face,
the first and last thing my heart erased.

Your love, I could never let go,
for my love, I did not show.
Maybe it's just the rain again,
maybe I just need a friend.

b4 i say anything, be warned that i'm extremely tired and will fall asleep IMMEDIATELY if given a chance on my bed, so if i go nonsense or random somewhere in this post, please bear with it... much appreciated...

well, its 3 days into the new skul year and the 1st post of 2007! kinda lotsa things happening these past few days so i'll do my best... on the 1st day of skul, was welcomed by lotsa new things such as a new parade square, new bball and tennis courts and a semi-completed hall and canteen, not 2 mention an artificial pitch awaiting completion... had a new classroom 2 so that was pretty cool... not cool would fall under the category of teachers... i've been waiting 3 days 2 bitch about my teachers 4 the new year so i will just let loose... 1stly, i have a new maths teacher who has a reputation of being a bitch, which means my maths will go through another hell year, but it is definitely relief from my previous maths teacher, i oso have a couple more teachers who are known bitches, like bio and chinese... 4 goodness sake, i've waited a whole goddamn year juz so that i can anticipate a change in my chinese teacher, and when i saw her name on my timetable it signalled the beginning of the end... i hate her and i guess she probably hates me 2, i'm so desperate for a good chinese teacher this year cuz of HMT O levels, and with her as my chinese teacher, that really spells the end of me... i hate her so much i have half a mind to juz pon all her lesson and go study chinese on my own, i think it would be so much more productive than wasting 1 hr of my life in her class almost everyday... not only that she is my ft, my frickin i'm-so-going-to-have-the-worse-year-of-my-life ft... looks like i'm going 2 have my work cut out 4 me this year... my physics teacher remained the same, she's not 2 bad but she cant teach 4 nuts, nice teacher though... got new eng, chem, geog and ss teachers, really dunno wat 2 expect from these subjects so if i'm still going 4 my 3.6 i'd better buck up on my own... saddest thing 4 me regarding teachers was losing 2 of my most favourite ones, albar and GM... people were cursing when they heard they got albar while i was dying 2 have her lah, and dunno where the hell GM went, but i guess i'll juz have 2 give the new teachers a shot...

the 1st day was seriously the most happening, met my best buds again after 2 months and its like we've nvr left... its was great to be around friends and it kinda lifted my spirits a little, kinda being excited about the new beginning and all... the whole skul seemed 2 be busy with stuff like the sec1's orientation along with the PSLs, sec3s going OBS next week, and even next door RJ with their orientation... their orientation seemed like alot of fun and i juz cant help thinking about what it'll be like a year from now when i beginning my chapter... not all orientations were good as i got loads of complains from the girls, jan and steph about MJ and stef about MI... seriously the stories i hear are damn bloody geng, really freaked me out... they didnt at all sound like they were having fun but i hope their doing much better now... well, the atmosphere is damn exciting and it makes you feel good 2 be back in skul... then again there's always going 2 be shit that makes you feel like skul is living hell, as it has always been, which includes hw (i have hw 4 eng, chin, maths, chem and physics already, and its only friggin day 3... life is hell? go figure), FUBAR teachers (F***** Up Beyond All Repair, as mentioned above) and trainings!!! juz came home from 1 of the most hardcore trainings ever in recent history... think the last time i felt like dying so badly was in sec2 when we were really hardcore to the core... i swear i would have collapsed on the floor during training and i'm now suffering from abrasion on boths legs, juz waiting 2 see how long it takes b4 i really drop dead... its been a really messy (dunno how else 2 describe this week, brain not working properly) 1st week and things are going 2 get messier... its only been 3 days and it already feels like 3 months (quote from ivan)... the only word i can think of 2 describe skul now is sian, so maybe the last year izznt going 2 be as cheerful as i planned... if i'm ever going 2 achieve anything this year, its going 2 have 2 come from me, not some dumbass of a teacher... so much 4 the 1st week of skul, hope blessed souls out there are having a better time, and may our souls be blessed that we have our share of the goodness in (skul) life...

really dun think my brain is working very well right now, dun even know why i'm online... guess these past few days have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions; excited about being back in skul to gettin pissed off at my pathetic life, and everything in between... guess it has been 4 everyone, esp those in new environments and stuff... gotta try 2 be thankful for wat i have, and i'm doing my best... saw daniel, yanjie and nic chong with their OG, really felt damn happy 2 have met them, cuz last time i saw them was almost 3 weeks ago (thats quite some time)... feeling excited 4 them cuz they're doing well so far in RJ so cant help being a little hyper... hoping 2 see maybe gerrard, fu ginn and yongjing sometime during the next 2 weeks... great guys, every single one of them... got hooked onto this song by Chris Brown, "Say Goodbye"... its a great heartbreak song about breaking up, but since when has breaking up not broken hearts? anyway, its really nice and i juz cant get enuff of it... next time i pop by HMV imma try 2 get my hands on Chris Brown's album, really a talented singer at only the age of 17... argh, feeling so bloody tired right now, and still spamming words here... think i should sign off now, emancipated on saturday but still going down 2 help out on raffles trail... hw, quizzes and assignments to busy myself with this weekend, all in preparation for week 2... its time 4 me 2 go, dunno how much life i have left in me... back again, peace...