b4 i say anything, i must say this: its not safe to say EVERYTHING here anymore... hmmmm...

now moving on, a hectic couple of days has kinda ended 4 me... nick left this morning but i wasnt able 2 send him off cuz of bball (crap man)... i think it went quite well 4 him in terms of the admission test lah, think he should be fine and i'm hoping 2 see him in singapore next year man... so well, after settling his stuff on fri afternoon, had dinner with another cousin of mine at united square... this is another 1 of those awkward moments when you swear you've never seen that person in ur life b4, but somehow that person is your blood relative... anyway, i must say she's quite attractive lah, but i had other stuff on my mind... so had a buffet dinner, didnt really eat much, can hardly imagine how they can charge so much 4 food that tasted like crap... was at the place 4 almost 3 friggin hours, til we finally left cuz my sis was complaining... got home and almost immediately entered a mass convo with the girls we met at the chalet (TKGS)... it was really quite happening lah, went on 4 a couple of hours? only left stefanie and stephanie and me (sounds totally wrong but nvm), then went 2 sleep already cuz of game in the morning...

i woke up late cuz i friggin turned the snooze off and happily went back 2 sleep... finally woke up at 730 and i thought i was shit screwed... luckily i had money left over so i cabbed down 2 dover... ended up reaching b4 the other guys and eating a whole 20 friggin bucks from my wallet... played a sluggish game til we picked it up and ran away with it lah... felt i played better myself, but the team is not working 2gether so there's always a next time 2 get things right... so at the end of the game there was the awards ceremony and they gave the MVP award 2 me... i dun think i fully deserved it but its definitely one way 2 reward a better performance? juz gotta keep working hard and coming back better i guess, thanks 2 danny and az 4 not giving up on me as well, with their encouragements and stuff... lol... after that rushed down 2 SBC 2 watch the combined skuls guys finish their game (wtf?!?)... good oso lah, dun have 2 train under that ass of a coach anymore... missing the last training feels good, and collecting the free stuff feels even better... i have so many shirts from converse i can open a shop already lah, literally can go and sell it lah... so after that went down 2 gym with darryl in tp, saw hell loads of chicks there lah... in the end realised it was only some netball tournament thingy, knew that a mass gathering of chicks was simply 2 good 2 be true lah... got home knocked out til dinner and kinda stoned til the man u game... the manchester derby was a brilliant display of football, with nail biting moments lah... luckily the player of the month sealed the game 4 man u, cristiano ronaldo... lol... he was really good throughout the game lah... think hes gettin better everytime... lol... hope 2morrow arsenal kicks chelsea's ass lah...

well, moving away from that 4 abit... i've juz been wondering, wat exactly am i feeling right now? its like, i juz cant stop thinking about everything... i cant stop thinking about all that kinda stuff, but at the same time i'm telling myself that i shouldnt be thinking at all... and when it all comes 2gether i freeze, i simply freeze... i dunno wat 2 say, if i'm saying the right things, the wrong things or maybe i shouldnt say anything at all... am i reading the signs right? is this going anywhere? or izzit juz a rebound? i'm juz feeling weirdly messed up right now... at the same time i feel that maybe's its not me, maybe i'm juz trying 2 be in a position where i shouldnt be... being someone i'm not... there's so many more questions in my mind, so many more waiting 2 surface, but i juz wish i knew all the answers 2 the questions right now... maybe when i look back at all this i'd probably be laughing at myself, but i'm kicking myself in the head right now cuz i dunno wat 2 do... maybe you should help me and tell me wat 2 do, put me out of my misery...

well, guess there's nothing more i can or want to say... thinking i should put more pictures on my blog, cuz these words are really blinding man... hai, juz gotta get some answers right now... and i really should stop thinking and start acting... til next time (hopefully i have some pictures), peace...