well its finally the end of the week... a long a tiring week i must add... well this week had some serious cct business n hardcore muggin 2 go along... had maths, chinese n geog this week... on the afterMATH (no pun intended) of my 2 screwed TA (topical assessment), wasnt feeling all that confident about maths going in2 the cct... the teacher (will not mention who) did not at all help the cause... n well, even after some serious hardcore practice, stilll screwed maths cct... thats that 4 maths... on2 chinese, well didnt really mug hardcore 4 it n well expected 2 screw up (way 2 darn negative but cant help it, facts)... can blame it on all sorts of reasons, season, new chinese tuition teacher n wat have u... but no point blaming anyone but me... juz gotta work harder next time... n last but not least geog (2day), the last of ccts 4 this week... best of the 3, felt it was ok, managed 2 finish the paper? although a bit rush but it was ok lah... hope i get something good out of it lah... rushed in the ss brochure along the course of this week as well (actually it was juz yesterday that i was rushing but anyway)... a pretty stressed week... had 2 lose a somewhat crucial bball game 2 add on 2 the stress man... somehow i blame myself once again (not surprised i would)... but its over n i gotta let it go... i really dunno lah, juz felt like giving up more than once this week... could literally juz feel the pressure building up, with muggin n ccts n season... juz felt i was losing it lah... juz the emotional n physical tiredness... well 2day after geog cct, went down 2 j8 n met u there... well i dunno, maybe cuz of everything this week, i juz realised how good u looked in ur skul uniform... it juz struck me there n then... ya well, we talked, something we didnt get 2 do much of over the week... well it was nice 2 have someone 2 share ur troubles with... talk until i was late 4 training lah... i really felt like i was losing it lah... everything seem 2 juz hit so hard this week (like i said this afternoon, so ya bear with me), i juz feel so useless? i mean everyone else is going through the same thing n i dun see them complaining or losing it? am i that weak mentally? juz feel that i shouldnt be complaining but i cant help feeling that way... felt so lost n useless lah... i know ur busy with ur school work as well, that makes me appreciate wat u've done 4 me even more... hai, dunno wat i'll do without u... felt a whole lot better after ranting on about my troubles... thanks ms softee ;) lol... so there goes another week, n here comes the weekend again... i have that gut feeling that this weekend will fly right pass me... got eng ERP, chin compo, n muggin 4 chem n physics ccts next week, on top of which, two do-or-die games on mon n tues... feeling the pressure again? not yet, but i will... hai, really feel like taking a break right now, but i know if i let the flow drop, i wont be able 2 pick it up again... took enuff failures 2 pick up the slack, cant lose it now... well ur gonna be busy next week 2 as i hear from u, well all the best ya... will be here 4 u... now i think back on the week, it passed pretty quickly, but not without me losing something (my sanity 2 say the least) and finding something in return... well u got ur ups n downs as we all like 2 say, wat keeps u going are the ups, wat keeps u from going are the downs... so well, lifes like that... gotta face it, whether we like it or not... juz gotta loosen up right now, all the stress got my brain all twisted n tensed up, any more of this crap and we're gonna have a hard time cleaning up my brain matter from the floor... hai, think i've said enuff lah... juz wanna listen 2 some soothing music n wind down the week... check back in some other time... peace...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!! all u loving couples out there take this time 2 spread a little love, n show that special someone how much u really care... ok b4 i go on with 2day will talk a little about yesterday... so yesterday nothing much, had training n blah, then after that kena dragged down by parents 2 orchard... wah i thought i was going 2 get new phone (4 those who have seen the back of my phone u would know why), but in the end turns out went down 2 see one of my mum's old friend from dunno where (came from some european country? germany?) ya so had dinner liao, then went there 2 like eat again? think i wasnt really hungry but i was stuffing myself anyway (still on this point, think i lost some serious weight lah... HOW???) ok so was there quite awhile, didnt really do much cept eat n listen 2 them share stories, catching up with the times... ya, so after that was going out of the place (oh btw we ate at the hyatt, lol), guess who i saw outside... i couldnt believe it myself lah, saw wincy tsang with another guy??? bloody hell, 1 lucky son of a gun... lucky little bugger... they were pretty close, bf? on the eve of valentines? wow wow, wondering wat they are doing now? nvm, moving on... lol...

ok so anyway, 2day is valentines day (in case anyone of u havent noticed or u juz came back from jupiter or something)... and well, love is in the air no doubt... alot of people with roses and flowers and wat stuff... well, dunno why felt damn down this morning lah... was like, i mean, everything was going ok, but i juz felt very down lor... i mean maybe cuz i didnt manage 2 get u something :( sorrie, or cant spend valentine witchu or wat... i dunno lah, was juz pretty low big time... then came along chinese period (which i must admit is the most fun n interesting 1 yet), when we did a little something 2 fit the mood of valentines day... we listened 2 chinese love songs n had 2 pick our favourite n wat have u... i was quite surprised that it actually picked my mood up... all thanks 2 男人海洋... wah lao, its a damn bloody nice song man, that time xiao yuan superstar dude lee yin wei sang this 2... damn nice lah... dunno why oso i juz listened 2 the song, and at once my mood lifted (but b4 that already had psycho myself and of course u ;)... well i guess my mind was so preoccupied with trying 2 get the lyrics 2 the song i juz blanked out everything else... i think people around me were quite annoyed 2day cuz i was trying 2 sing the song the whole day lah (apparently with no luck, n not any good as well)... went 2 listen 2 it again on yan jie's ipod then finally got the song from jon gan... yeah man, gonna whack again like siao man... lol... its valentines day 2day (how many times have i said this already ah? lol), n i guess everything is emplified so much more... well i spend vday witchu, didnt get u anything (how hopeless can i be?)... that juz made me feels so... maybe it didnt help when i'm my usual self thinking 2 much again... juz u know, like vday is when couple go out 2gether n all that stuff... juz cant give that 2 u... juz cant be the one... n somehow feel that i couldnt fill that space maybe? n when i think about the other guys who can do juz that, be it in the past or wat, i'm juz helpless in a sense lor... well there are many things i cant do, cant share ur troubles or cant be there, juz hope 2 make it up in other ways... juz want u 2 be happy ya? ;) well should try 2 step away from the sad side of things on vday, n u know, be happy with wat i've got... lol... been wanting 2 vday 2 pass as quickly as possible, but now when i'm sitting here writing this post, looking back on the day, it juz seemed 2 speed right pass me... n now i think of it, i got my wish, but i juz want it 2 last a little longer... hai... always thought that vday should be the day that one would let their love juices flow (please, do NOT misinterpret that line... it has no pun intended watsoever...), but well 4 me not much love-loss feeling 2day... juz another normal day with a tad bit more feeling only... probably wake up 2morrow n realise that the next vday is 364 days away? well, nvr really expected myself 2 be so hype about vday, but here i am juz ranting on about vday... i guess maybe i'm feeling the love? lol... well enuff cock lah, gonna end off... i dedicate this post 2 "u":) izznt really that appropriate when its like full of cock, but its the thought that counts? happy valentines day once again!!! they should seriously consider making it a public holiday here in singapore man... lol... not alone this valentine...

well valentines day is around the corner n close 2 everyone is feeling it(sadly not me)... n well still havent been keeping 2 my promise of blogging consistently? juz started 2 have that feeling back again, so decided 2 blog... everyone is so hyped about valentines, but me, not so... juz cant feel it coming(am i supposed 2?)... its juz like last year when i had that same feeling... its like a whole new perspective juz opened up... when ur standing there watching the world go by, she's juz another stranger on the street... she walks pass u n u notice her, but u know she'll be lost in the crowd again... u know, 1st impressions are always the most primal of all, when the only thing that catches u is the looks, thats when the feelings are the strongest as well... but thats oso when the attraction is the weakest... the feelings are strong, true no doubt, but will it last? well that happens everyday when u see a cho bu walking pass u... u notice her and the words "damn she's hot" would probably be running through ur mind right then, but u probably wouldnt remember her after a week... well i lost this particular stranger in the crowd, knowing that this is as close as i'll ever be, but as fate has it, she wont be gone 4 long... its like, yes her looks catches u(come on, u'd have 2 be blind 2 miss her), but there's always that something there that pushes u on 2 keep wanting 2 find out more... i really dunno where this is headed, where these feelings lie... its like when u see her, maybe juz along the streets, juz walking by, ur eyes juz cant help but follow her every move, her every step... u know there's gotta be more than juz that on the outside... but when she's outta ur line of sight(or when u get slapped with a really huge fish), u wake up from that that trance, n u know that, quite frankly, thats as far as ur gonna go... yeah, maybe right now the feelings are as good as looking at a picture, when u know u cant reach the real thing... n maybe the feelings are juz pure lust, but then again, are these feelings tryna tell u something? yeah, when u think about it, u wouldnt be the only 1 starring at her, u wouldnt be the only 1 noticing her... n thats where u know the chances are even slimmer... wat makes u think ur the only 1? wat makes u think ur HER only 1? wat makes u think ur even half that close? well, i dunno... i dunno anything anymore... if these are only raw emotions, then the answer would be quite clear... but wat if these emotions hold more? would i be a fool 2 forego them? or a fool 2 follow them? well maybe its valentines that playing a prank on my heart n emotions, but with the thought of valentines, it burns all the more... should it be a good or bad thing? we shall see...

ok, 1st of all, thx 2 all those that do actually read my blog, motivation 2 maybe blog more? well wanted 2 blog juz now when i got home, but was 2 tired n knocked out on my bed lah... now, i lost all my emotions so dunno wat 2 say liao... was listening 2 黑色毛衣, n somehow juz felt very down lor... dunno lah, its juz that, well maybe in that kinda mood again... thinking 2 much when i shouldnt be... puttin up the lyrics, though i cant see how it has any relation 2 me watsoever, juz thought the lyrics were sad enuff, really nice song... juz cant hit the stop button... juz cant stop thinking...

周杰伦
黑色毛衣

一件黑色毛衣
两个人的回忆
雨过之后更难忘记
忘记我还爱你
你不用在意
流泪也只想刚好合意
我早已经待在谷底
我知道不能再留住你
也知道不能没有骨气
感激你让我拥有秋天的美丽

看着那白色的蜻蜓
在空中忘了前进
还能不能重新编织
脑海中起毛球的记忆
再说我爱你
可能雨也不会停
黑色毛衣
藏在哪里
就让回忆永远停在那里