LOST

Jonathan Lim
01 06 91
Raffles Institution, Raffles Junior College
explosive_19@hotmail.com

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kenneth
david lee
kevin
kenn
danny
an zhen
lim zhen
chee yang
eugene
nigel
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arias
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BLACKWHITE

Monday, September 19, 2005
4:48 PM

i tot these feelings were over... i tot they were juz playing wit my heart and head... but why, when i see ur face and when i see you smile... i get that feeling again... those feelings died and came back once again... why? n when i see u laugh 2 another guy's jokes, i feel anger... or izzit jealousy... why? it could never work out the way i want it to... no matter what i try 2 do, the relationship can only go so far... beyond which is only a dream... yet these feelings keep haunting me, these emotions juz cannot find a way around me... my head tells me that this cannot go on, but my heart cannot seem 2 let you go... i know i need myself back, but my heart keeps giving me away... of all things i should be thinking of now, the last thing should be love... people will tell me that i'm not ready n there are more important things in life right now... but i juz cant get u out of my system... juz a glimpse of ur face, juz a smile, n everything becomes so much better... at the same time when i see u with another guy, my heart fills my head wit anger n jealousy... i tell myself this is not love... this is nothing but an infatuation... a crush... but when will the feeling go away? how do i make it go away... this has no way of working itself out, but my heart clings on tighter everytime i try 2 let go... should i distance myself from u, yet i fear my heart will find a way 2 turn the distance in2 a stronger desire... i cannot let myself be with u 4 my own doings of jealousy will strangle the relationship... i cant let myself fall in2 another hole in which i have no way 2 dig myself out of... how do i give u up? could this mean there is more 2 it than meets the eye... how can i let go of the love that was never meant 2 be, once n 4 all... i wish i could tell my heart that it could never happen, n i only want the best 4 u... this cannot drag any further 4 it may cost me more than i can pay... i must start 2 move on wit my life, if only i knew how...

immaculate and inadequate ;